Love Is Blind

An ugly grey smeared the sky even though there wasn’t a cloud in sight. The sun had gone somewhere to hide which I personally wanted to do myself, but I couldn't not tip my hat off to Mother Nature for reflecting my current mood.

I glanced down at my watch to make sure I was running late, after all first impressions are super important. Then I remembered the watch that my grandmother had given me had broken after the first five minutes of wearing it. It was poorly made and didn't come apart so I couldn't get the battery replaced. But after she died last year, I couldn't bring myself to take it off.

I kicked a rock, which had hopped up onto the sidewalk, out of my way. The action only caused me to stumble over my own two feet, a dramatic arm-flailing ensued it being the only thing stopping me from landing on my face, improving my already fantastic mood. I bent down to tie my loose shoe lace which I'd inadvertently untied in my tripping act.

The deep growling rumble of an ancient car that should be put out of it's misery approached from behind me. Either in a moment of fate or karma or simply the universe giving me the finger, the driver so kindly sped through a murky puddle next to the curb, drowning me in a tidal wave of shit smelling water. The puddle so miniscule and near the curb that the driver had to have intentionally driven through it. If they'd been driving in the middle of their lane they would have completely missed it.

I should have turned around and gone home at that point, but I had promised my sister I wouldn’t bail. Again.

It was the least I could do. I never should have made that stupid promise that if I remained single by the time I turned twenty-eight that she could set up a dating profile for me. I'd completely forgotten about it until she called me squealing, claiming I had so many matches. I couldn't believe that she'd gone and done it. I demanded for the profile information, mostly because I wanted to take it down immediately (which she once again made me sister promise--basically a pinky-promise, but more intense. We'd been doing it since we were kids and never kicked the habit--I wouldn't delete it) and also because I refused to believe that I, the Queen of Introverts, had matches.

The profile was pleasant. Actually made me seem like a pretty decent human being. Hell, I'd want to date me based off of that profile. The main picture was of me in a bright blue summer dress with my head thrown back in a laugh. My hair a bit frizzy from the summer humidity, but perfectly defined curls twirled around my face, catching the fading sun's rays. I actually looked happy. Another picture showed me cuddling my cat Sir Butters and the other was me looking studious at a coffee shop while writing. I'd only seen the cat picture before. Was my own sister stalking me? Probably. Wouldn't surprise me.

My brief bio said: As an aspiring author I often spend my days slaving over a laptop or notebook. When I'm not writing, I'm looking for someone to keep me warm during cold nights, who loves thunderstorms, cats, and the outdoors!

I was oddly impressed. If I didn't love my sister so much, I'd hate her.

Completely soaked, I carried on, the restaurant within view. I'd previewed the menu online and nothing sounded better than this bottle of Merlot they offered. From California, it was filled with delicious dark fruits and finished with a note of chocolate. I could imagine the flavors blending, leaving a titillating tingle across my tongue as it caressed my taste buds, smooth as it slid down my throat. I groaned with yearning. I could probably finish a whole bottle. I didn't care if that was tacky for a first date.

My shoes made that annoyingly high pitched cry that wet rubber tends to with every step I took on the wooden floors of the restaurant. The hostess eyed me with disgust and I could see the words on her tongue preparing to inform me that they couldn't serve me, but one quick glance from me silenced her.

The guy I came here to meet spotted me almost immediately and flagged me down as if trying to land a plane. I recognized him instantly from his profile picture. An average dork like most of my profile matches. There must be a filter they're using. They always look more charming, more not dungeon-and-dragony online. He wore casual jeans and a nice, nerdy sweater his mom probably bought for him specifically for this date. I made bets with myself for how long he could put off informing me. Five, maybe ten minutes? Bonus if his mom called him during the date to see how it was all going. Double bonus if he called her.

I ignored his name, couldn't remember it from the profile anyway, and mumbled mine as I went for the traditional hand shake. Instead, he embraced me into a bear hug as if we were old college buds. His arms squeezed all the air out of me and yet he held on. My arms trapped at my sides as I stood pin-rod straight. I had no clue what to do and my useless body just shut down on me, leaving me trapped in this stranger's arms.

Then he began petting my hair. I wanted to scream. But tolerating this was better than the hellfire that would rain down on me if I returned home so soon. She'd know I bailed again. Though, I honestly wanted to know how my stench didn’t scare him off. He gave no signs of letting go.

I cleared my throat, mostly an attempt for air. “Lets order,” I offered, attempting to raise my arms a bit to put some space between us.

We ordered drinks after waiting twenty minutes for a menu. I swept my eyes over the menu, pretending to read it, before asking for the Merlot from the waitress before she could dash away.

Whilst waiting, the entire time he chomped down on peppermint candies like they were going out of style. An open mouth, visceral chewing that cracked and crunched as the hard candies fell victim to his molars. And if that wasn't bad enough, he then rubbed the wrapper between his thumb and index finger, crinkling the plastic.

“You look kind of wet.” He stuttered between chews. “Was it raining?”

“No, some asshole drove through a puddle.” I grumbled.

He swallowed hard and I thought he'd choke on the peppermint. “That was you?”

My face turned beet red and I decided, in that moment, I’d never go on a blind date again.