Love
A good day to contemplate the meaning.....
Love- it has so many different meanings and it is subjective to any one person you ask. Just as happiness is different to different people so is love. I have loved many times in my life. However, it has never been the same. In the end, however, love fiercely because this all ends. Even if you did not receive the love you believe you should have received as a child, please love others. Be who you needed when you were younger. Hurt people hurt other people. The only way for us to all make a better world, we need to be the change (each of us) that we wish to see in the world. Romantic love is just one type of love. Platonic and familial love are also just as valuable and just as important as romantic love- sometimes even more so. If your parents are still alive, you are blessed more than most. I know that at 47, I am incredibly blessed. Life- is indeed an interesting journey. A lot of people in this life equate sex to love. You can be intimate with someone and never be close to their heart. As a young girl, I never would have understood that concept. As an adult, it still took me a little time to understand this concept. Reasons people need to learn how to date, it's something I have never been good at. Society pressures young women from a young age- intentional or not- to find a mate. More attention needs to be given to young girls and their self-development to where they focus on their career, and strengths as an individual. Women are more than hosts for men to reproduce. I love my son dearly and believe that women can have it all BUT one has to have a super supportive partner to accomplish those goals. A lot of times you are competing with someone's else's self-esteem and ego- not even another person. A lot of people struggle with loving themselves and some never get there; they die first. Growing up in an alcoholic home, along with a codependent mother who was hopeless as well as helpless in love, it was HARD for me to learn to how to love myself and it took a lot of years. You either fight or run forever. And I could not do it with anyone else in my space. I wanted to ensure that I gave my son the best life I could that was free of generational dysfunction- to the best of my ability. We have to learn forgiveness in this lifetime. Comparison is the thief of joy and in this age of social media, it is a constant. Your journey is yours and yours alone to take in this life. Choose to spread love in this hate filled world. You will be rewarded in the end. What I have found is if you focus on helping others, you will find the love. Do things FROM love and not FOR love. There is indeed a difference. Unconditional love is a hard thing for most people. Most love with conditions. People can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves. If someone tells you something about themselves, as bad as you may see more potential in them than they do, believe them for they know themselves better than you. If you love from a genuine space without conditions, then you won. If you walked away from ANY relationship that was low vibrational, you won- collect that win. Change your thinking and change your life. It happened for me.
About the Creator
Vikki Conley Ikard
I am a person who believe that each one should teach one. Never leave those who come after you to learn by the 'trial by fire' method. Be who you needed when you were younger. I am from a divorced mother of one son who is now 22.
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Divorce
Divorce- when you hear the word, it does have stigma attached to it- especially for a woman. Whispers of why is she divorced? What did she do? Can she not cook? Why can't she keep a man? and so many more questions! A perfect example of this is the recent chatter in the headlines about Halle Berry and why she can't keep a man- maybe she has a bad 'box' LOL - Halle Berry is a product of an alcoholic home as well and money never fixes those issues- it can mask the issues but never fixes them. Sometimes- people that get married should have NEVER been married to begin with. Everyone has their reasons for getting married and is you ask two different people, you will more than likely get two very different answers- if they answer you honestly. One needs to ask themselves that question however- why did I REALLY get married? No one ever talks about the positive side of divorce. People need to be compatible in all areas for a marriage to work- sex, friendship, life goals, etc. Divorce, can be freeing. Change your thinking and change your life! One cannot work on themselves if they jump from relationship to relationship. People change partners to avoid changing themselves. A reality of life that people hardly talk about. In my life, my marriage provided something I never had- the feeling of belonging and family. Yes- I have a biological family but when you grow up in an alcoholic home, it really is every man for himself. Although our family was a family of 5, I felt utterly alone. And was DESPERATE to find a mate to love me. To this day, my ex-husband's family remains like family to me even though he and I never had or will have the best relationship other than being parents to our son. Life is a very interesting journey. As a woman, you have to put your emotions to the side because the love thing will leave you unfocused and BROKE. And no one likes a declined check card! Some women luck out and get it right- the career, the family, the kids, all of it. But some of us did not. I like to think of it as God blessing us all with different blessings. What fun would life be if ONE person had all the blessings in the same way? Rather boring actually! I think we should celebrate women more for individual accomplishments. You finished grad school, Yay! You purchased a home (on your own)- congrats! We also need to groom men to understand that the amount of respect given to them should not be tied to their earnings or their job title. Some men cannot be in a relationship with a woman who earns more because it threatens their ego. In 2021, they really need to ditch the antiquated thinking and their egos. Life is soooooo expensive! A lot of people are in love with the idea of being in love and the idea of the marriage ceremony- not marriage itself. Marriage is hard work. We all have to choose our hard in this world. Divorce is hard on kids, but they are smarter than we give them credit for and more resilient than we think they are. Learn who YOU are before getting married and divorce is less likely to be a part of the equation. Learn who you are before inviting any one in to your personal space as the work is easier to do that way. Too many people stay unhappy because of what things look like to others. Just know that life- is indeed a one-shot deal.
By Vikki Conley Ikard3 years ago in Humans
Lessons from a Broken Friendship
A few years ago, in the dead of night, I got a message from a friend. She was in a bad place, pouring out her heart about the chaos consuming her life — troubles with her boyfriend, the impending loss of a family member, and feeling like everything was falling apart.
By Amanda Doyle5 days ago in Humans
The Voyeur's Incandescent Reasoning
The woman sat nonplussed, in the Waiting Room. In a sort of daze, looking straight ahead patiently. She had already had three small breakfast's that morning and a nip of sherry, this was not unusual she would typically wait until an hour after she took her anti-depressant and was her morning routine. She was merely following instructions she assured herself, shifted slightly in her seat and feeling a little heart burn thought, maybe she should skip lunch. Dom had said to have the task done this week. She was well used to his methods and desired to get this over and done with soon. She glanced at her watch, smiled weakly at the Receptionist who was there for a moment and then gone.
By Canuck Scriber L.Lachapelle Author6 days ago in Fiction
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