Divorce

Divorce- when you hear the word, it does have stigma attached to it- especially for a woman. Whispers of why is she divorced? What did she do? Can she not cook? Why can't she keep a man? and so many more questions! A perfect example of this is the recent chatter in the headlines about Halle Berry and why she can't keep a man- maybe she has a bad 'box' LOL - Halle Berry is a product of an alcoholic home as well and money never fixes those issues- it can mask the issues but never fixes them. Sometimes- people that get married should have NEVER been married to begin with. Everyone has their reasons for getting married and is you ask two different people, you will more than likely get two very different answers- if they answer you honestly. One needs to ask themselves that question however- why did I REALLY get married? No one ever talks about the positive side of divorce. People need to be compatible in all areas for a marriage to work- sex, friendship, life goals, etc. Divorce, can be freeing. Change your thinking and change your life! One cannot work on themselves if they jump from relationship to relationship. People change partners to avoid changing themselves. A reality of life that people hardly talk about. In my life, my marriage provided something I never had- the feeling of belonging and family. Yes- I have a biological family but when you grow up in an alcoholic home, it really is every man for himself. Although our family was a family of 5, I felt utterly alone. And was DESPERATE to find a mate to love me. To this day, my ex-husband's family remains like family to me even though he and I never had or will have the best relationship other than being parents to our son. Life is a very interesting journey. As a woman, you have to put your emotions to the side because the love thing will leave you unfocused and BROKE. And no one likes a declined check card! Some women luck out and get it right- the career, the family, the kids, all of it. But some of us did not. I like to think of it as God blessing us all with different blessings. What fun would life be if ONE person had all the blessings in the same way? Rather boring actually! I think we should celebrate women more for individual accomplishments. You finished grad school, Yay! You purchased a home (on your own)- congrats! We also need to groom men to understand that the amount of respect given to them should not be tied to their earnings or their job title. Some men cannot be in a relationship with a woman who earns more because it threatens their ego. In 2021, they really need to ditch the antiquated thinking and their egos. Life is soooooo expensive! A lot of people are in love with the idea of being in love and the idea of the marriage ceremony- not marriage itself. Marriage is hard work. We all have to choose our hard in this world. Divorce is hard on kids, but they are smarter than we give them credit for and more resilient than we think they are. Learn who YOU are before getting married and divorce is less likely to be a part of the equation. Learn who you are before inviting any one in to your personal space as the work is easier to do that way. Too many people stay unhappy because of what things look like to others. Just know that life- is indeed a one-shot deal.