Living the American Dream

If my ancestors could see what this land would be or know the long term price of having “freedom” they would have just made it work in our homeland. All the lives lost and blood shed just to wear shiny chains in another country, this is not the dream they were chasing.

Part 1. This is America.

Welcome to America, want to join the world's greatest military? Great! 80% of you will end up homeless after serving your country, but we will ensure you don't get care for your ptsd so you don't forget the sacrifice you made for us. Want to buy a house? Amazing, you will most likely pay a mortgage until the day you die and when your offspring can't continue the payments we will take your home and give it to someone else who has the money. Make no mistake, even when you own the home we will find a way to take money from you. Want to rent an apartment? No problem, just make 3x the rent no matter the size and you can't have a cosigner. Congratulations on graduating high school, we have taught you almost nothing of the real world but please choose from our thousands of colleges that aren't free to learn some more and please enjoy the debt we give you that you will spend years paying off. Please keep in mind, just because you spend thousands attending college, it wont secure you a spot in the career you are studying for so enjoy job hunting!

Want to get a job and make your own money? We love that for you. Choose from our millions of jobs most of which are minimum wage which we have not raised in years to ensure you get the full experience of working hard, but you might need more than one to make 3x the rent on that home you can't afford to live in.

Have kids? We have some of the greatest schools in the world. Since 2000 to present day we have only lost 371 students to mass shootings in schools. Don’t forget to pick up a brochure about our gun laws that are in place to inform you know how serious we take gun law in this to die for country.

On the topic of rights, ladies if you dont want to be touched, cat-called or even raped, dress appropriately. Remember 8 out 10 women who are raped, asked for it by their actions, clothing or the mis-communication of the word “NO”.That also goes for girls of all ages, you shouldn’t have wore that by your uncle or stood to close to that family friend. We will not give you justice if you caused your own rape, which we are almost always certain you did. Abortion is not healthcare in our eyes so if you find yourself pregnant, you will carry to full term we do not allow murderers in this country unless of course you just a “kid” with mental health illness and shoot up your school, that’s the only mental health we care to treat.

We love the diversity, of cultures and sexuality but please keep it to yourself we can not guarantee our patriot americans will grant you the freedom or safety to express yourself. And if you teach your kids that love is love, we will shame you because those are not the morals our country was built on. You may only be loud and proud to be an American, that is of course you are American and not an immigrant stealing our land and taking advantage of our country.

Native american? My grandmother was part Cherokee, please stay in your designated land that we stole from you. African American? Try out for some of our national sports teams! But please conduct yourself properly, our officers are trained to see your tone or melanin as a weapon. Mexican Americans? How long did it take you to sneak in here? Speak English, this is America and stop stealing our jobs. Asian Americans? French tip please and also beware we are known for violence against your kind for no reason, maybe go back home. Do you have any descent from the middle east? Wow please don't blow up anything and dont wear that head wrap, it doesn't look very friendly. Jewish? Although you have your own stores and churches, keep an eye out for an armed stranger who wants to use you as target practice while you pray.

This is America, Land of the free and the greatest country in the world. People die every day to be here.