Letting go

You know the importance of the need to let go, you know it’s wasted energy holding onto thoughts, people, and experiences that do not serve you, yet a lot of us find it hard to do.

I often ask myself, ‘Why is it so hard to let go and move forward?’. From experience when deep inside, I feel my heart able to let go, a weigh lifts and I find peace. But why do I put myself through additional pain before I finally let myself move on? Why do I waste so much energy holding on?

I know if I got out of my own way, I’d be able to let go with grace.

I took a CPL class recently, and in the class we were taught the reasonable person standard. Meaning, if you found yourself in a situation where you pulled the trigger, would a jury determine a reasonable person would have also pulled the trigger in the same scenario.

Lately, I’ve been using this standard to answer if other actions are justified in my life or even friend’s lives, when they come to me for advice.

“Would a reasonable person do X,Y, or Z, in your same position?”

Usually this question is asked in the context of dating and relationships. Again I know, 10 out of 10 times, a reasonable person would just move on understanding that something simply was not meant to be. A reasonable person wouldn’t take it personally, a reasonable person would trust their own journey and move forward. It’s logic really, logically, if something is forced, it’s not meant to be. I usually get to this train of thought and reason in my soul searching and think,

“ it’s so simple, I can do this, I can let go.”

But then fear sets in, fear of the unknown and distrust in what’s for me will actually find me. Then fear takes me backwards, and sets me back in my old habits because familiarity, although heartbreaking, takes away the discomfort of not knowing and not trusting. Even though time has proven over and over, what’s for me has found me. From the job I’ve found myself in to the loyal puppy I adopted after what felt like months of researching breeds, things always work out when you don’t lose yourself in the process of going for what you want.

I think the real work in letting go, might not be the actual decision to let go, but the ability to sit through the discomfort and knowing although it hurts and it sucks, it’s what a reasonable person would do. Rather than cycle back into old habits just to bring a fleeting sense of comfort, a reasonable person would walk away without looking back. And I think no matter how many times we have to let go in life, it might not ever be any less scary but maybe if we acknowledge the discomfort and allow ourself to sit through it using faith to bring us to the other side, that each time we let go, we’ll be able to let go sooner.

I had a small reminder today, of how much energy can be saved by letting go. I reached up to my earlobe and usually where my diamond stud would sit, I felt my skin and realized that I had lost a diamond earring. In the past, I would frantically retraced my steps and my mind would be all consumed on where it could have fallen out. Today, I immediately decided I wasn’t going to tear apart my house or drop everything to search. I simply came to accept, my earring was gone and let go. If I was meant to find it I would. I went through the rest of my day focusing on work and myself. When I grabbed my laptop to sit on my bed to write this, I sat on the earring.

It’s almost as if what was meant for me, found me.