Learn All About the Importance of Father-Daughter-Mother-Son-Child Relationships

Father-daughter and mother-son relationships play a major role in the child's development and are particularly complex. Of course, in every family, the types of relationships will be different: we must not perceive a complex reality only through clichés: the mother offers affection, the father offers security and discipline.

We must not start from the presumption that in any family, the relations between children and parents of the same sex (mother-daughter and father-son) will be the closest, but also competitive; nor from the fact that the relationship between children and parents of the opposite sex (mother-son and father-daughter) will necessarily be more ambiguous and complicated.

The dynamics and types of relationships in a family differ, and today, we cannot afford to integrate everything into an ideal theoretical type, believing that the same pattern is found everywhere. And yet, what is the importance of father-daughter and mother-son relationships, what are these important relationships in a child's life?

The same-sex relationship is indeed a close one, largely due to the common ground: father and son will find more in common, as will a mother and daughter.

There are emotional relationships based on similarity, but also on a certain comparison (the daughter compares herself to her mother, the mother compares her daughter to her, as well as in the father-son relationship).

The mother is also the essential female role model for her daughter, just as the father is the male role model for his son (the child will try to be just as good or completely different from the parent of the same sex). Sometimes, during adolescence, one can even distinguish certain competitiveness in relationships with same-sex parents.

But what about children's relationships with parents of the opposite sex, mother-son and father-daughter relationships? These have a major influence on the child's future: in fact, the boy's mother and the girl's father are the first female / male role models the child has.

A girl will value the masculine features of the father, features that she does not find in the mother: she will take over the typically masculine elements from the father, and a boy will do the same with his mother (each person incorporates both masculine and feminine elements in his psychic development).

Often, there is a major influence of the relationship with the opposite sex parent in choosing the life partner: the adult will be instinctively attracted to a partner who reminds him of the opposite sex parent (or sometimes will try to find a radically different partner - depending on the quality of the relationship with the parent in childhood).

The type of mother-son and father-daughter relationship thus has a major impact on what types of relationships the adult will find and maintain. A harmonious relationship with the opposite sex parent will prepare him to maintain such relationships with his partners. A cold, distant, conflicting and overly competitive relationship will make him more prone to such relationships with his partners.

The father-daughter and mother-son relationships are often close, complicity: not infrequently, the girl and her father make a "common front-facing" the mother - as well as the boy with his mother.

How many times does a girl not find understanding and protection in her father, to whom she goes when she has a problem or a request and how many times the boy does not find the necessary support in his mother?

Even from a young age to adolescence, the boy will instinctively seek protection from his mother, while the girl will often go to her father (girls are inclined from the beginning to stay with their father, to constantly ask for his attention).

Psychoanalysis even tells us that a little girl will want to conquer her father, to take her mother's place in her heart, looking at her mother as a rival to her father's condition. And a boy looks at his father with jealousy, being a rival to his mother's condition.

Therefore, father-daughter and mother-son relationships are extremely complex, especially since a parent is often more deeply attached to the child of the opposite sex. While a mother may criticize her daughter more severely and may even nurture some rivalry at times, she will become very attached to her son.

And a father will discipline his boy harshly, having high expectations from him, but he will treat his daughter with affection and protection.

This can be a small "escape" for parents - to treat their children differently: while a mother will often be more understanding with a boy and more critical of her daughter, a father will naturally feel the urge to be more protective and affectionate with his daughter, but more strict and harsh with the boy.

What can be painful for a child: Seeing that a sibling is being favorably treated triggers rivalry and damages family relationships. Whatever the instinctive inclinations of a parent towards one of his children, he must always know not to show his preferences and not to behave unfairly with his children!

In many families, these small complicities are created: the mother and the son maintain a close relationship, as does the father and his daughter. Of course, in a harmonious family, parent-child relationships are close regardless of gender.

But a mother will always feel pride and a deep affection for the boy, and a father will feel the desire to protect his daughter. The expressions "mother's boy" and "father's daughter" show us the depth of these types of relationships and their importance in the child's life.

A harmonious relationship with the opposite sex parent is the first step in creating and maintaining a balanced and healthy relationship in adulthood. A conflicted or cold relationship is a major impediment to a child's relationship skills.

But what has not been said: even a too close, addictive, overprotective relationship between a boy and his mother or between his daughter and her father can have negative effects on the child's future: any child must become detached from a relationship too suffocating and becoming independent.

Staying connected to your mother or father in adulthood is not healthy for the development of autonomy, of individuality. Of course, a boy will always remain his mother's son, just as a girl will always remain her father's daughter - but the relationship with the parent should not dominate the life of an adult.

And this is one of the mistakes that parents make, especially with children of the opposite sex: they keep them too close, they are too protective, they make them dependent on them and they limit their freedom, without intending it - but from their instinct to protect.

Like any other type of human relationship, mother-son and father-daughter relationships are far too complex to be standardized in a simple theoretical model: but what remains obvious is that these relationships have a major impact on the development of psycho- of the child and adolescent, an essential influence in his future relationships with life partners.