Differences and Similarities Between Envy and Jealousy, How Do We Distinguish Them?

What are the differences and similarities between envy and jealousy - different emotions, but which can sometimes intertwine and which are often confused when we talk? The most obvious difference is that while jealousy occurs when a person is afraid of losing someone in his life, envy occurs when a person wants to get something that another person already has.

Simply, a general case of jealousy would be when someone is jealous of their partner, fearing that they will be cheated or that they will be abandoned; A similar case of envy is when a third person wants to steal someone's partner (just an example). Or when he is jealous of his service, his car, his physical appearance and would like to have them.

The differences between envy and jealousy are many, starting with the very nature and type of emotions manifested. Jealousy comes from fear, insecurity and can be manifested through insecurity or even anger.

Jealousy is often linked to a negative self-image that causes insecurity. Although it is a normal emotion, especially in a couple and it is said that wherever there is love there is a drop (or a lake!) Of jealousy, when it manifests itself intensely, without basis in reality, when it cannot be managed, it hurts the relationship. , bringing conflicts between partners.

Envy, on the other hand, often comes not from fear or insecurity, but feelings of anger, resentment, selfishness. Envy is also a common human emotion, but it affects, even more, a relationship (of any kind).

Envy is related to the desire to have, to acquire something (or someone) that another person has - the desire that makes man intervene to prevent the envied person from holding the object of envy.

Before detailing the differences and similarities between envy and jealousy, it is worth mentioning that, as has been said, both emotions affect a relationship, regardless of its type. Jealousy offends or hurts the partner, for example, because he feels that the other person does not trust him/her. It leads to resentment and even anger on the part of both partners - the jealous one who cannot change how he feels and the one who is the target of jealousy, who cannot understand why he is suspected and unjustly verified.

Envy, for example, at work, affects the professional relationship - the envious one will be angry and will behave at a distance or even with a spade, and the other will perceive this fact (no matter how much he tries to hide it). An envious person who focuses too much on the target of his envy and grinds can no longer have positive relationships and can not focus properly on what is important.

Differences and similarities between envy and jealousy:

• Jealousy and envy are both common, normal, and very common emotions - but they must be controlled and a mature person must not act on these negative emotions.

• Jealousy is closely related to the couple's relationship, but envy usually manifests itself in other types of relationships (in professional life, between acquaintances).

• Both jealousy and envy, if not managed, streamlined, kept under control, severely affect relationships.

• Both envy and jealousy manifest or lead to resentment and anger or sadness.

• Envy, however, comes from greed, spite, while jealousy comes from fear, insecurity.

• While jealousy often manifests itself in people with a negative self-image and low self-confidence, envy is often felt by those egocentric people with an extremely positive self-image who think they deserve everything, even things possessed by someone else.

• Envy is about wanting something/someone else's, jealousy is about being afraid of losing someone in your life.

• Envy implies the existence of two people - the envious and the target, while very often, jealousy implies the existence, at least in theory, of three people - the couple's partners and the threat, the person who could ruin the relationship - which is sometimes real, sometimes only in the imagination of the jealous. But there can only be two people - for example, when a partner is jealous of his / her boyfriend's hobby, with whom he/she spends a lot of time!

• The keyword when you're jealous is "threat" - you feel threatened in one way or another in a relationship; the keyword when you are envious is "resentment" - you are the one who holds the spade of a person who owns something you want.

• Envy is often accompanied by certain malice - either you think that the person does not even deserve to have that something you want (boyfriend, car, job, house), or you try to take that something from him, believing that you deserve it. Jealousy, on the other hand, rarely involves the wickedness of the jealous.

• Jealousy often seeks only emotional reassurance, while envy seeks competition, conflict.

Jealousy can be diminished or even avoided through discussions between partners, while envy can be diminished only by the envious person, through introspection and rationalization.

Both, however, require people to be aware of the source of their emotions, to analyze their feelings, to observe how they affect them and others, to decide how well these feelings are based.