JustaPakistanni

Pseudonym — JustaPakistanni

This is more than just a pen name. This describes the problems, the complexities, the insecurities, the challenges, the thought processes, the inequalities — the cause, the effect of it all. This is the first thing that comes to my mind. This is the last thing on my nerves. These days, everyone, each one of us, is planning and trying to leave Pakistan — however, it can be done.

To begin with, just a brief introduction of myself. Now, more than ever, the first thing, label, or category that describes me is I’m a mother/motherhood. The second principal constituent that tells a lot about me is being a sister to a sibling dealing with severe mental health challenges. The third variable that expresses who I am, someone trying to be a good, better, or the best daughter one can be. The fourth element to explore about myself is the rebellious person that I am. Fifth, more than ever, striving for freedom and independence in a country where living is/becoming difficult. Last but not least, trying to be a better version of myself, embracing my flawed self, being in the pursuit of becoming a better human being.

This doesn’t mean I hate my country; instead, as it is said, “phir bhi dil hai Pakistani”, meaning “still I am Pakistani at heart”.

Why this pseudonym?

The shackles, the obstacles, the hindrances, the troubles, the lack of opportunities — all on one side, but the patriotism on the other. I wouldn’t even want to use the term patriotism due to its negative connotations or intense nature, but somehow it is a relative term. This article is about the pseudonym “justaPakistani”. The title I chose. I chose to define myself. My piece(s) of writing. For my identification. As a way of addressing my needs, problems, and their solutions.

Why choose this ‘particular’ name? So that I can talk about what it’s like to be a woman in this society. What’s it like not getting married? What’s it like going through a divorce? What’s it like being a single parent? What’s it like when you want to educate yourselves but do not have the necessary resources? What’s it like when you see the country running amok? What’s it like to have access to two ‘parallel systems’ of justice? What’s it like being a citizen of this country? What’s it like navigating through all the complex emotions and pain?

First things first, I wouldn’t say that there’s nothing good about our country; instead, there is a lot. It’s just that it is, unfortunately, a victim of all that, I would say in particular, especially political ‘corruption’ in the world. Sadly, the ones with bigger ranks and critical designations are the most corrupt, and almost in all the fields, you name it. It’s not that people do not have values; we still have sincere people as well, but as I said, it’s the ones in the top positions that make or break the momentum.

As it is said there is light at the end of the tunnel, hoping against hope, that there will be a revolt and we shall overcome.

P.S. The blog JustaPakistanni is my brain child on Medium, I own the copyrights to it. It's a subtle attempt to talk about my country, culture, it's people and values. And for me to talk about culture is to talk about everything. The people of Pakistan are peace lovin' people who love to make friends, host people and promote peace in the world, they are just a victim of their own circumstances.