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Brilliant Shell

A Story Every Day in 2024 May 9th 130/366

By Rachel DeemingPublished 12 days ago Updated 12 days ago 2 min read
Top Story - May 2024
Brilliant Shell
Photo by A R on Unsplash

Please note that this should be May 10th, 131/366 which I've put at the end of this but not at the beginning. My head is not in the game. I blame Rachel Deeming.

He'd seen her before at the club. Glimpses of her through dry ice. Tantalising. He wanted her. Who was she?

Shit, he wanted her! He just needed an "in". It wouldn't happen at a club. He was funny, he knew that; not bad-looking but girls liked him for his sharpness and wit. That's what his friend, Lindsay said anyway.


His "in" came unexpectedly when he saw Lindsay getting out of a car and waving to its occupants, one of whom was the mystery girl. His heart jolted. He needed to talk to Lindsay.

He agonised over how to broach it and in the end texted her.

-Hey! Just saw u with some strange girls. The best type. Who were they?

When Lindsay received Sean's text, she wasn't surprised at all. But she was disappointed. She'd had a feeling from Sean's description that this gorgeous girl was Mona, who she knew from hockey but hadn't acted on it because, well, without having seen her herself, how could she be sure? Or that's what she told herself.

She also liked Sean very much. Liked. That was all. But it was more than that, deny it as she might. She looked forward to seeing him, feeling nervous excitement in anticipation. She loved his company. Ah, who was she kidding? She loved him.

Now this.


She wondered how to play this, the green tendrils of jealousy winding their way around her heart, urging her to sabotage. She could...

But the thought of Sean feeling badly about her outweighed anything else. She'd rather have him in her life than distant and disappointed, agony though this would be.

Crushed by a crush.

Texts were exchanged, Mona's number shared and a date arranged.


Sean was deflated. He needed to talk to Lindsay.

-Fancy meeting up? Where r u?

Lindsay was there in a flash.

"How'd it go?"

Sean shrugged.


Lindsay raised her eyebrow. "Just alright?"

Sean shrugged again.

"Ah, I don't know."


"I mean, she's nice and everything but I don't know..."

Lindsay waited.

"She's beautiful, yeah, but it's like, she's just a shell."

Sean added and without realising, gave Lindsay hope:

"Boring, you know? Not like you."


366 words

The sun is out and I am feeling positive. Love is most definitely in the air.

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read this, please do leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.



About the Creator

Rachel Deeming

Storyteller. Poet. Reviewer. Traveller.

I love to write. Check me out in the many places where I pop up:


My blog






Beware of imitators.

Reader insights


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Comments (26)

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  • Shirley Belk8 days ago

    Great story!! Congratulations on the Top Story!

  • John Cox8 days ago

    Congratulations on Top Story, Rachel! I loved the build up in the story. I liked that you injected the hope at the end that maybe, just maybe, Sean is beginning to see his way through his own shallow nature. Really well down, Rachel!

  • Anna 9 days ago

    Congrats on Top Story!

  • D.K. Shepard10 days ago

    Rooting for Lindsay! Congrats on Top Story! Loved the link of the title and the closing dialogue

  • Ameer Bibi10 days ago

    I liked reading this story! The way you built up the tension and explored the dynamics between the characters was fascinating. The end left me thinking, which I loved. Congratulations on getting the most prestigious award for top story on vocal.

  • Jay Kantor10 days ago

    Rd - Happy Moms’ Breaky in 🛌 bed day — Always Mom’s favorite — 🥯☕️❤️

  • Paul Stewart10 days ago

    Yay. So glad to load the thing up today and see this thing there. Well done on Top Story for this touch of gentle and hopeful romance!

  • Sid Aaron Hirji10 days ago


  • Sid Aaron Hirji10 days ago

    Congratulations on ts. So you and KC Shafer doing story a day

  • Andrea Corwin 10 days ago

    P.S. Congratulations on TS! And I loved the “I blame this on Rachel” 😂😂

  • Andrea Corwin 10 days ago

    ❣️So sweet, I loved this. The confusion of first meetings and texts being misinterpreted. 😮

  • Grz Colm10 days ago

    🥳😁Congrats on your top story Rachel. Read before. ;0)

  • angela hepworth10 days ago

    Aww this was so sweet and adorable, put a big smile on my face! Great work and congrats on top story!!

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Christy Munson11 days ago

    Congratulations on Top Story 🥳 Excellent storytelling

  • D. J. Reddall11 days ago

    Deftly done, and congratulations to the real Rachel Deeming for the TS! It appears that Vocal no longer wishes to permit me to publish. I may be ousted from the "publish or perish" challenge by a technological glitch!

  • Donna Fox (HKB)11 days ago

    Back to say congrats on Top Story!!

  • Caroline Craven11 days ago

    Go Sean and Lindsay. I’m a sucker for a love story. Great stuff Rachel.

  • Hannah Moore12 days ago

    Argh, the perils of a clumsy text message!

  • Lana V Lynx12 days ago

    Oh, the younglings’ love games! Always fun to read about.

  • A delightful story! Hoorah for personality 😃.

  • Gerard DiLeo12 days ago

    A simple, simply beautiful story. Nice, Rachel.

  • Novel Allen12 days ago

    The age old story. You don't see what is right under your nose. I have hopes for Lindsay, she just needs to step up. It is yes or no.

  • I've been Lindsay before but without that happy ending, lol. May all the Lindsays in the world have a happy ending!

  • Well-wrought! I always disdained the game of non-verbal signals, though. Those of us with sharper wits, as you say here, are all too often left holding the reins of a conversation that never happens because we see more than we should too soon. Sometimes for the best, but always a heartbreak in progress for me. I think that's why I have come to prefer the written word. The game of daily social interaction tends to exhaust me with tedium, while the lively imaginings of my own mind keep my feet moving. Nevertheless, cheers to Lindsay and Sean! May they come to terms!

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