Just Love

They say you get 3 great loves in your life: 1) your first love 2) the love of your life 3) the unexpected love. How you meet these GREAT loves is the amazing thing because you never know when you will. Another thing, will you ever find them AT ALL! I get so excited with the thoughts of love and finding it, especially real love. Love is the one thing I truly believe we need in life and not from a partner, but from your kids, your family and friends. Smiles and laughs shared with the people you love is the best medicine for any bad thing you experience. I want to share my meetings of love with you, sit back and enjoy the show.

That first love comes so fast and full of lust especially if you're a virgin. Not only was I a virgin but I had no experience in the world, I was what they call “book smart” not “street smart”. I was 15, in Marching band, and boy crazy. He was 14, a football player, and very defiant. I was a part of a band with more than 100+members and we represented our school, loud and proud. We were on an out of town trip supporting our team from a small town but doing great things in football. Myself and other band members were getting back on the bus to go home and I noticed a kid on the bus that for sure was not supposed to be there. I asked a couple of people when we got on the bus “who is the new kid and why is he on our bus”. Come to find out he was friends with some of our drummers and had snuck on for a ride back to our hometown. Me being “boy crazy” I had to call him out, I said loudly “so we let anybody ride our bus now?” He quickly returned with some smart ass comment, i don’t really recall right now but we went back and forth for the entire bus ride. The more we joked back and forth the more I started turning it into a flirt and dared him to come under the seats of the bus to get in the seat with me. Within a moment's flash he was in the seat with me and I met eyes with the person that ended up being my first love. Just kids but this meeting gave me 10 long, hard years and my 2 beautiful daughters I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Speaking of long, hard years, let's talk about me meeting the love of my life. I met the love of my life, he didn’t meet his, but that's another story. Like most people into technology we met online. There was no love at first sight, no fireworks when we saw each other in person, and no kiss that made me weak in the knees.First, I posted a picture the popular social media app at the time MySpace and he commented under it “I’ll pay for it”. Sounds real romantic, right? Next, he inboxed me his number, twice, and said to call; I never did. Lastly, he sent his number one more time in January and said “can I take you out to dinner” and i called him. When I called I was in a relationship that I was in no way happy in and i wanted to know what he had to say. What started out as a little casual conversation went on for 2 hours, until his phone died and I never called back. By the time summer rolled around I had stalked his page everyday but I dare not call him back I wanted to remain faithful. I just kept thinking back to how good our conversations was and how he was so interesting , I wanted to know more. As soon as i ended my relationship, I hate to say it but i called him the very next day. What i wouldn't give to rewind the clock and NOT call that number but he gave me my miracle baby, my son for that i am grateful.

As you can tell the only thing “great love” gave me was my amazing kids. The last and final love still has not crossed my path yet. The unexpected love, I have to be completely honest. I don't think I believe in love at this point in my life. Anybody I ever loved treated me like yellow laffy taffy and I'm not sure I'm ready to go through the ins and outs of it all again. If you have experienced at least one and you're still in love today, I’m jealous, because I have never experienced love and that person loves me back equally. I had to fight to be seen in my first relationship. I had to beg for mere attention in my marriage. Neither of them wanted me, like I wanted them, and if I ever met someone who did want me back I probably would sabotage the situation because I'm not used to it. The bad part is when I was younger I loved love! Holding hands, kissing, and hugging, it was simple and beautiful to me. Now at the age of 43, I’m just spending time with myself and praying one day God will bless me with a companion that loves me for me.