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It's Okay

self-love saved me during the post-partum stage

By Chloe Rose Violet 🌹Published about a month ago Updated about a month ago 3 min read
Top Story - March 2024
It's Okay
Photo by Amanda Jones on Unsplash

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I'm not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”

― C. JoyBell C.

I was inspired by my body today. It took me so many years to stop hating myself and just love my body for what it is- and that is my body.

I have written about self-love before, and I cherish what I learned in that course so much to this day. It literally saved me knowing that I could choose to love myself-even when I didn't feel all that loveable.

I am grateful to be a mother to my children. When I look at my stretch marks and scars, I am in utter awe of myself. How could I have created my tiny humans and still hate my body? I never want my daughter looking in the mirror or struggling with an eating disorder telling herself hurtful lies about herself. I never want that for either of my sons.

I am nearing three months post-partum and struggling to love my c-section pouch. But I am still in awe. I am amazed that my body has created the beautiful children I have. Just because I have one faulty uterus doesn't mean my body has failed me.

Post-partum is a strange time in a mother's life. You're navigating a new baby and adjusting to the hormones still fluctuating in your body.

Self-love changed my whole being. It changed the way I dress myself, the way I take pictures of myself, and the way I carry myself. If I didn't have that knowledge that it's okay to love yourself, I would be struggling wholeheartedly with my body image.

I struggled in such a hard way after jaw surgery changed the look of my face and my voice prior to kids.

I always have loved my eyes. My children's eyes.

I'm growing to love my chubby cheeks.

I may have vitiligo and struggle to love the white patches of skin on my body, especially since they are growing worse instead of getting better. It's lifelong but I will cherish the way it makes me different. As my partner says, "You're like limited edition." I may despise my autoimmune disorders, but they are a part of me.

It's okay not to love every part of yourself. Even if you just find one thing to love about yourself, that's enough.

Spread love and kindness like wildfire. Tell someone they look good today. Compliment someone on their makeup or their clothing for a change instead of silently admiring someone. Let them know that their earrings look cool.

I remember on a bad hair day, I was getting the mail. I was eight months pregnant and someone complimented a really bad lime green hair dye job of mine. That compliment made me sparkle because I was really having a hard time with loving my pregnant body at the time.

I get to be weird. I get to wear clothes that make me happy and wear my bright lipstick do my eyes in funky colours. That is a choice I get to make. I don't have to hide my body behind ugly sweaters that I thought I should be wearing because, "I'm a mom, I can't wear clothes that make me happy."

I am not the hateful words that have been said about me.

I do not have pancake titties. (Thank you to my high school boyfriend for implanting that in my head and making me hate myself for years.)

I am not fat.

I am not ugly.

I am strong.

I am beautiful.

I am perfectly okay with being in my own skin.

And for today, that's enough.

Even if you're drowning in the midst of self-loathing, it's okay.

It's okay to struggle with your body image from time to time.

What's not okay is to hate yourself for being a human being.

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹

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About the Creator

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹

Writing from the heart about love, life, music, mental health, and everything else in between. 💀🥰

•Follow me on Threads @rosefearless

•Like my new Facebook page ROSEFEARLESS

Purchase my affirmation cards here!

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    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (14)

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  • Alyssa Nicoleabout a month ago

    I love this so much! Like others, I loved the "limited edition" comment your partner made. It's such a sweet sentiment. As someone who has struggled with body image due to an autoimmune disease, this is so relatable. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable! Congrats on Top Story! 🎉

  • Rebekah Crawleyabout a month ago

    limited edition - I love that <3 Such an important perspective for us mamas to keep in mind, thank you for sharing.

  • LASZLO SLEZAKabout a month ago

    Bravo, your story.

  • TONE TALKSabout a month ago Give a read please, Ill be very thankful :)

  • Anna about a month ago

    Congrats on Top Story!🥳🥳🥳

  • Andrea Corwin about a month ago

    Limited Edition - perfect and special!!

  • zulfi buxabout a month ago

    Awesome story..simply loved it..continue writing more inspiring stories

  • A. J. Schoenfeldabout a month ago

    Changing destructive inner dialogue is so challenging. I've come to really hate songs and movies about the girl who doesn't know she's beautiful being even more beautiful because she doesn't see it. What a twisted thing to teach our daughters! We not only tell them they have to be perfect but they can't think of themselves as beautiful. Ugh! Thank you for the reminder that not only do we all possess our own unique beauty, it's okay to love our own beauty.

  • Lamar Wigginsabout a month ago

    Your story is a great example of how to pull yourself out of the rabbit hole of self- sabotage and rise with self-empowerment! But first, you have to love yourself. Great advice and congrats, Chloe!

  • Carol Townendabout a month ago

    You are beautiful just the way you are. I had two C-sections with my baby, one of which caused more damage to my pelvic bone after my baby booted me and fractured my pelvis during pregnancy. I was wheel-chair bound for almost all of it! I, too, have struggled with body issues, partly due to that C-section, my past, and my bad teeth, which I spent years not being able to see a dentist because of my phobia and trauma. I have been on a fitness mission as part of my self-care, and I'm about to have most of my back teeth taken out. That's scary, but now, after many agonizing years of trauma, I have a dentist who is private but can deal with it. I'm looking forward to my new implants, but not the pain. Self-care is essential. I spent so long, both before and after my children were born, not liking myself or my body. But me and you? We are beautiful just the way we are. I'm proud of you; keep up the good work and remember, you're amazing!

  • Dana Crandellabout a month ago

    You are a ray of sunshune, Chloe! What could be more beautiful?

  • Shirley Belkabout a month ago

    Bravo to this authentic story and for the love of yourself!!!

  • Skyler Saundersabout a month ago

    Here, the story aches with a desire to love one’s person. While the body may be something that can be abhorred, if a mind as strong as the writer’s can convey an idealism of how to respect and adore the individual body, that resonates with the power to say that the smallest compliment can be a treasure.

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