Is Your Partner Cheating On You And What Signs Might Be Right Under Your Nose?

You're sitting at home. You're sure he said eight o'clock. She doesn't come rolling in until two in the morning. There are unexplained expenses and withdrawals on your joint account. He suddenly opens up a separate account that you found the paperwork for hidden somewhere. She's been overly amorous. He hasn't had the energy to touch you in months. One of you is frequently out of touch with the world, always forgetting to fully charge your cell phone. One of you is different, or maybe you both are. The chances are that someone has begun to be unfaithful to the relationship. How well do you trust your partner?

If we’ve learned anything from Hollywood that translates into real life, it’s that cheaters are sloppy and leave behind many clues. That’s right! There is no need to hire a private investigator. Sure, if you’re married, you might need a good lawyer. But, you can have the privilege of busting your significant others’ bubble by catching them yourself. So, let’s focus on the signs of a cheater.

Technology is the cornerstone of our lives in the current era. It’s not going to be absolute when it comes to catching a cheater but there are some things that people do, with regards to technology, that will be clues. If your partner has always been an open person and you suddenly notice that getting into their iPhone is like cracking your way into Fort Knox, that’s a dead giveaway that they have something to hide. If they don’t want to let you use their phone, there’s something wrong that warrants further attention. This applies in situations where they’ve always been open before now and their overly protective attitude toward their phone is something recent. You can apply this same principle to laptops, tablets, and computers unless you’re with a partner that has always been a private type of a person.

Remembering that technology has become a cornerstone in our existence, it’s important to keep in mind that with technology becoming so widespread, so mainstream, and so frequently upgraded, the prices have come down. Not everyone will be able to afford to get a burner phone, but should there suddenly be a need for an additional cell phone, then there’s a problem. For the low price of $50 a month, Cricket Wireless will get a guy or girl up and going on a different account. There are prepaid cell phones that you can load using cash and not leave behind a money trail. Commonly called "burner" phones, they are a cheap and easy way to keep your communications with your mistress or fling from ever turning up on your known devices.

What did you do? If you have found yourself in this precarious discussion don't be surprised. Suddenly you’re late from work and your partner is overly demanding. They are even suspicious about why you were so late. They make you feel like you’ve compromised their trust. Suddenly, without reason to explain it, they’re no longer secure, self-confident, and content.

Deflection is a way of projecting guilt onto their partner. According to Bethany Ricciardi, a sex and relationship expert interviewed by Best life, “These accusations are often a sign of self-guilt, and it will put the blame on you, causing you to be on the defense and distracted from their actions.” It’s quite a manipulative game because the picture they paint is one of someone that would never cheat, hates cheaters, and would never hurt you that way. However, they’ve probably already done the very thing they’re accusing you of.

Never looking a gift horse in the mouth is a generally solid practice. Let's not forget, however, that when something seems too good to be true it usually is. Chances are, the unexpected gifts are a way to butter you up when your partner feels guilty about something. So what could they be guilty of? It's most likely cheating.

Avoiding specific locations or interacting with specific people. If your partner seems suddenly hesitant to go to a particular restaurant or bar, it might be because they’ve gone to the same place with the person they're having an affair with. Worse yet, if they start to avoid interactions with certain friends or colleagues, it may be more than a casual falling out or workplace conflict that causes the changes.

Changing their appearance is a subtle warning sign but watch what happens next. If your partner comes home with a sudden wardrobe change, new hairdo or coloring, or is hitting the gym five to six times a week, something is going on with them. The easiest way to figure out if there’s another person in the picture is to ask yourself, are they still spending time with me? Do they wear fancy new clothes out with me? Are they actively seeking your approval as they work out like twenty-year-olds? Do they even get excited or show gratitude when you mention how good they look?

When men start dressing like the age group behind them there is a really good chance he’s found someone younger than him that is showing some attention. Perhaps he hadn’t been feeling too great about his appearance, felt he needed a change to stay competitive in the world, or realized he let himself go. If you’re not benefiting from the new and exciting mister in your life, be worried.

It’s amazing how much the cellular phone is probably mentioned in divorce hearings but the cellphone is as much a tool of the cheater as it is a tool for work, communications, and keeping up to date with the world. Cell phones are used to convey a wealth of information. People can read books from their phones, check emails, see their social media, and instantly send messages around the world. People take their cell phones everywhere. If your partner won’t leave it near you without him/her being there, they don’t want you seeing something that might show up on their home screen or show through on the lock screen.

Is your partner suddenly on their phone all the time, frequently having to take the calls in more private areas? If this is something new, and they normally would sit right beside you and interrupt the movie you were watching, then it’s a sign they’re hiding something. Habits like being polite don’t suddenly appear overnight.

Excuses are a dime a dozen and most people have at least a few dimes to spare. But, if you regularly feel like you need to put out a missing person alert and your partner was once reliable, then there’s something amiss. After all, the excuse my phone battery died only goes so far for so long.

If you never see anything on their Facebook or social media pages, but they spend a lot of time putting likes on a specific person’s post, then you probably know the person your partner is interested in having an affair with. The more you’re out of the loop on social media, the more he’s extracting you from the things that might get him caught.

How’s the sex at home? It is a great question to ask anyone that thinks they’re being cheated on. If the sex has become more infrequent, then he may be stepping out. If your partner’s desire for sex is more apparent than normal their libido may have been reinvigorated by their new sexual partner(s). Perhaps they’re going to try to save their relationship by incorporating the new things they’ve found about their sexuality into their current relationship. This is a double-edged sword as there may be benefits that you find here, a reinvigorated interest in you that your partner hadn’t shown for a while — but at what price?

Frequently, a person having an affair will be thinking about the other party even when they’re around their partner. It’s reminiscent of the young crushes we all had when we couldn’t stop talking about someone we were excited about.

The signs of a cheater are there for us to recognize if we’re willing. We just have to keep our eyes open, make sure that we don’t give our partners a reason to cheat, and make a decision we can live with if it happens in our relationships. It’s important to know the signs early because only then can you take steps to keep yourself from being embarrassed and humiliated more than necessary. The pain of being betrayed is bad enough without going through the public spectacle of your private life seeping out into the world.