Is Love at First Sight Real?

I’ll get right to the point. I believe in love at first sight. It’s real. It’s chemistry. Maybe even insanity, but it does exist.

Scientists and psychologists who study this agree with me. “…….sometimes the initial chemistry between two people who’ve just met can feel so strong that it leaves a lasting impression, according to licensed marriage therapist Weena Cullins, LCMFT . Two people can feel a deep sense of knowing each other along with an unexplainable level of connection and attraction upon first meeting each other. It’s possible to sense that those feelings will remain regardless of what unfolds beyond their first encounter.”

I believe in it beyond doubt because it is the story of my life:

I was quite advanced for my age, having entered puberty at the absurd young age of 9. Out of necessity, my mother was forced into giving me the speediest, most simplistic explanation of the existence and cause of menstruation that a 9-year-old could comprehend. I entered puberty with all that comes with it — a developing body, inexplicable and baffling feelings of desire for boys, and confusing mood swings. To add to this hormonal upheaval was the incongruous enjoyment of still playing with my Barbie doll.

One year into this unusual early onset of puberty, when I was 10 years old, my parents and I were visiting my Dad’s brother who lived in the next town. I had been playing in the yard when I came back into the house to see my 16-year-old cousin and 3 friends chatting in the living room. I looked up and saw a boy who took my breath away. He was the same age as my cousin -16. Tall, dark, and handsome, as the 1950s cliché went.

To me, he looked like Elvis, my first celebrity crush. My heart skipped a few beats. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I was drawn to him like an involuntary magnet. At 10 years old, at that moment, I felt a connection that not even death could break almost six decades later.

Why? How? I don’t know. I only know that although I did not see him again until six years later, I never forgot him. His name was Sid Gershman.

Those six years later at my cousin’s wedding, I was now 16 years old. A 6’ tall young man with a more mature, but no less handsome face came to our table to talk to another guest. I looked at that face, and my heart fluttered as it had 6 years earlier. Why? How? I hadn’t had any contact with him in those preceding years. Where did this attraction come from? I don’t know.

“Feeling those butterflies immediately? There’s a reason for that.” As neuropsychotherapist, Dr. Trisha Stratford, told The Huffington Post, “when you feel like you’re falling in love, a chemical reaction is actually happening in your brain, releasing all those warm, fuzzy feelings. Your brain is creating dopamine and serotonin, and Stratford said that it “looks like the brain of someone high on heroin. Because of those chemicals, you may feel an instant attachment to someone……………”

Another 5 years went by. Both he and my cousin had married and divorced. It was the summer before my senior year in college. My cousin brought Sid along with him on one of his visits to our house. I was no longer a child. I was a 21-year-old woman who once again looked at that man and fell apart inside. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and well, I had learned what I hadn’t known at 10 years old, and I wanted it with him.

Yes, I realize it sounds like it was pure lust at that point, but there was something else. I don’t know what. There was just something about him that drew me to him. I wanted to get to know him; I wanted to be with him; I wanted to never leave his side.

3 months later, the phone rang in my dorm room. It was Sid Gershman asking me out on a date for the following weekend.

It took him 11 years longer than I (Good thing — wouldn’t have wanted a 16-year-old to lust after a 10-year-old), but on that first date, he fell for me as hard as I did for him when I was 10 years old.

Two weeks after that first date, he asked me to marry him. It was December 1969. We had to wait for me to graduate college the following June, but we were married 2 weeks after my degree was in my hand.

What followed for the next 45 years is written in my tribute to him on what would have been our 50th wedding anniversary in 2020. You can read the complete text here.

We were blessed. We had it all. Deep love, sexual combustion, friendship, respect, emotional support for each other, and laughter. We just plain old loved being together. We enjoyed each other’s company.

When I first saw him, I didn’t know him. I didn’t know his character. I didn’t know his ambitions. I didn’t know anything about him. But I knew there was an undeniable connection. To me, that was love at first sight.

Alzheimer’s Disease stole it all from us. He has been gone for 7 years. The pain of his loss from my life has not eased. Some days the hurt is so excruciating I feel as if I have been punched in the stomach.

My heart shattered the day he died. The broken shards have slowly mended together in an uneven, disjointed pattern, with a piece forever missing.

I had my love at first sight, and it was the best part of my life. It is a keepsake in my heart that I will treasure forever. Yes, I believe love at first sight does exist.

Do you? Do you have any stories like mine? Tell us about them in the comments.

©Copyright 2022 Joan Gershman

Resources:

Is Love At First Sight Real? Why it Happens & 9 Signs You’re Experiencing It

4 Reasons Why People “fall in love” At First Sight, According to Science