I Saw What You Wrote

I remember the day so clearly; I was twenty-five, going to vocational school to study medical billing and coding and trying to kickstart the career for the rest of my life. As the year came to a close, I ended up on the Dean's List with a 3.87 GPA. I was ready and willing to put my best foot forward to jump-start my career. During the process, I noticed that some of my classmates were getting job leads, and I was not so; I decided to march up to that office and give job placement a piece of my mind. To make a long story short, the job placement employee stated I was "overly authentic," which means that I'm just too real for people and needed to tone it down.

My authenticity has always been the blueprint of my character. I've never beat around any bushes or danced around any truths. The people I've met have admired my authenticity. How do I know this? Because people tell me and that affirmation is allowing me to be more comfortable being myself. I've never asked anyone to be a part of my "fan club" or try to embellish MY TRUTH for applause. Every story I've ever written on Vocal is mine and mine only. So, when I see certain people attempting to write four to five sentences about my thirty-four years of living on this earth, I have to give a big F.U respectfully. If you don't know my last name, the city I live in, how I grew up, you don't know a thing about Teisha LeShea.

I can kindly tell you to kiss my ass and still wish you well. What separates those two statements is a period. I don't have to be mean to prove a point or even tell someone what they said hurt my feelings. Has there ever been a time when your mother said something out of line, and you responded with, "Mom, that hurt my feelings, and I still love you." Some may call that being "passive-aggressive," but I call that accountability and being graceful at the same time.

We've all heard of the saying, "the internet is what you make it." To have a healthy relationship with social media, we have to be intentional and think about what we're using this space for; is it to sell a product, pass the time, obtain information, or be a jerk? As writers, we start any new adventure with thought, and along the way, those thoughts become words, and those words now tell a story. We as a community must tread lightly. Sometimes our words don't always translate, and other times your attitude in which you read these words doesn't translate either. We must remember the power in our words. We must also remember not to take everything; personally, the lovely Samantha Kaszas had to remind me of this, I love her storytelling.

Knowing this, I still haven't figured out the formula for dealing with two-faced individuals, you know, people who say one thing to you and something opposite to someone else. No matter how logically I think, the sting and the hurt will always linger when you see things like this about you. A flash of amnesia starts to sink in, and those previous "compliments" you gave me months ago are now different.

Well, I hate to be the person who wakes you up from this dream, but you didn't know me then, and you don't know me now, but somehow you know me well enough to write a paragraph on what you THINK. It reminds me of a time I was working at this office job and the manager at the time said something out of line; one of my coworkers looked over at me and said, "You don't say much, but I know what you're thinking by looking at your facial expression." I've never been one to hide how I felt about anyone. I find it mind-boggling how specific individuals can create this narrative of who they think they know. I would strongly advise not to do that when it comes to me, and I'm not predictable.

What do you do when you find out that someone was talking behind your back to then smile in your face? I've been pondering this question for months. I can't give a clear-cut and honest answer. The only thing I can think about is scenarios. I could go Nene Leakes on you with a good read, which is an insult, and a catty way of calling out someone's flaws. The slang term derives from both the Black and LGBTQ communities and is also regularly used in Paris Is Burning, but that wouldn't change what you said, or I could completely cut you off, but the petty Virgo side of me probably wouldn't get over it as I should've. Currently, I've objected to killing them with kindness to continue leading with that. I would advise that I have a thick collection of screenshots that I'm willing to bring forward if necessary.

Because

I saw what you wrote.

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