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I dressed up for my husband and ended the night crying

my husband

By sagar dhitalPublished 2 months ago 3 min read
Kishori Sud (the times of India)

Thursday, when my husband left, I was determined to greet him at home in a special way. I put on the lingerie I bought. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt ridiculous. I told myself I was being silly, that I was sexy and beautiful. I forced myself out of my comfort zone; I wanted to feel sexy and seen. I looked in the mirror again, considering changing. Should I switch to a different pair of panties? No, I'll wear them as they are. Oh my god, I look ridiculous, but my at least my chest looks nice like this. I fixed my hair. I poured myself a whisky and sat on the couch to wait for you. I looked in the mirror again, almost giving up. I reminded myself that it was just my low self-esteem talking.

When he walked into the room, I stood up and went towards him. I complimented his new tattoo. He said, "Did you change clothes?" And I asked if he liked it. He said, "Nice," and walked into the kitchen without even looking at me. I went to the bathroom, determined to change clothes. But I decided to come back and comment on how he didn't even notice me. After rehearsing in the bathroom not to give up speaking up. And his response was, "I didn't notice, sorry."

I felt like the least sexy and attractive woman in the world. I felt like Evelyn in Fried Green Tomatoes. With a man who just passes by and doesn't pay any attention to his woman. I felt completely invisible. And it's horrible to feel that way in a relationship.

I'm deeply hurt. It brings back painful memories of all the times in my life when I felt invisible. It's disheartening how frequently this occurs, especially with people I care about, who continually fail to see me.

I'm not seeking advice; I just don't have anyone to talk to. Even if I did, I'd feel too ashamed to open up. I feel incredibly lonely, and it seems like I'll spend my entire life feeling this way.


I posted this before going to bed, not expecting to receive so many responses. I will try to answer, but I'm reading everything and the answers made me feel better for sure.

Firstly, I want to clarify that I have a fulfilling sex life. After almost 10 years of marriage, my husband consistently ensures I orgasm before penetration. So sex is not a problem. He wasn't having a bad day, and we had enjoyable sex after I said he did not even notice me.

The topic of lingerie is something we've discussed previously. We're in a great place in our relationship, which is why I decided to surprise him.

The essence of my post is about feeling invisible. I didn't necessarily need immediate sexual gratification; rather, I craved acknowledgment.

I don't want to come across as ungrateful, but I battle with self-esteem issues due to past trauma. Despite knowing I look nice—confirmed by random men stopping me on the street to compliment me—why doesn't my husband do the same? For women, good sex without affirmation isn't as fulfilling as it is for men.

What truly saddens me is the number of women who have experienced similar situations and the number of men who believe it's normal not to pay attention. I notice when my husband has a broken nail, so how can he not notice me wearing sexy lingerie and simply give me a compliment. thank you


About the Creator

sagar dhital

I'm a creative writer in the way that I write. I hold the pen in this unique and creative way you've never seen. The content which I write... well, it's still to be determined if that's any good.

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