Hurricanes and Blizzards

There are uncanny parallels between the weather reporting of impending hurricanes and impending blizzards. I lived in New England for my entire life, until I moved to South Florida 14 years ago. I thought it was only Hardy New England reporters who stood out in the worst nature had to offer, bundled up in knitted caps that covered all but the mouth needed to speak into a microphone, to tell us what our eyes could clearly see - It was snowing - hard.

These reporters, who could not possibly have been paid enough money to stand (barely, since the wind was strong enough to knock them down) out in sub-zero temperatures, garbed in heavy parkas, double padded mittens, and knee-high boots, had to wonder if this was the exciting news scoop with which they were teased by overzealous professors in journalism school. Is this how I earn my Pulitzer Prize?

Worse still, was when the “impending” storm took days to develop and whirl its way into our viewing area. That meant we were subjected to the same reporter, standing in sunny, warm ( 40 degrees is warm for a New England winter), weather, desperately seeking a snow event to report. We were told of every snowflake sighted; we were shown snow on the grass and admonished not to get complacent - it would soon pile up on the highways, making them slippery and dangerous. After 3 days of such non-event reporting, the meteorologists finally throw in the towel and admit that the storm has bypassed us. Back to regular programming. Until the next forecasted blizzard.

Now here I am in Florida, where undoubtedly, there have been catastrophic hurricanes, so as soon as a tropical wave is spotted off the coast of Africa ( Africa is pretty far from Florida, folks, but it never hurts to be prepared), our TV meteorologists go into high gear and start warning everyone to stock up on water, non-perishable foods, medications, and in this COVID 19 pandemic world, face masks and hand sanitizers. We are inundated with graphics of Error Cones, those brightly colored charts showing which areas are under Hurricane Watches, Warnings, and Direct Land Fall.

We are told when to put up the hurricane shutters, usually when our area is under a Warning, not a Watch. All good advice. But as with the New England blizzards, we viewers spend days, and days, and days, watching the intrepid reporters desperately trying to find weather to talk about.

We watch as reporter #1 stands on the shores of Vero Beach and says……………..look at that wave. There’s a wave coming. Well, yes, we say to ourselves. There are waves in the ocean, and sometimes, depending upon wind conditions, the waves are higher than at other times.

Switch to Reporter # 2 on Jupiter Beach- It’s sunny here now, a beautiful beach day, but there is a cloud up in the sky, signaling the coming of bad weather.

Switch to Reporter #3 in a neighborhood in Port St. Lucie - It rained heavily here an hour ago. Look at the puddles.

Understand that this coverage goes on 24/7 for as many days as it takes for the storm to actually hit our area.

Then, if the hurricane does hit us, IF we still have power, you can be 100% sure that we will see reporters holding onto poles, as 100 mile an hour winds try to pry them from their chokehold and whoosh them into the air, telling us that the winds are dangerous. They will be pelted with a deluge of rain, soaking through their hooded slickers and knee-high boots. We will watch this and remember the year Al Roker of the NBC Today Show was knocked down by a huge gust of wind while reporting that - it was windy.

So, I admit that it is always a bit disconcerting when sometimes weather happens FAST. A couple of years ago, Isaias was reported as a POSSIBLE Tropical Depression one day, and the next day, we were warned that it was a Category 1 Hurricane that would hit us the following day. There was hardly time to line up at Costco for water and storm essentials ( like potato chips and chocolate chip cookies).

I am always prepared for any scenario. I am well stocked with water. I cook the meat in my freezer when Hurricane Season begins June 1. I cook it, then freeze it, so if I lose power for an extended period of time, my friends and I will have plenty to eat. I have Accordion Shutters, which are permanently installed on the windows, so all I have to do is unlatch them, pull them shut, and re-latch them. It’s very easy and quick, unlike the panels that weigh more than a mack truck and require the strength of a bodybuilder to haul and install. And the finances of Bill Gates to pay for someone to install them and return to remove them.

When the TV meteorologists warn that the hurricane is imminent, I drag my patio furniture inside the house, close my shutters, and turn on the TV. As expected, I am subjected to reporters sitting at desks, warning us that the storm will hit our area at midnight. Reporters are out on various beaches opining about the waves. There are press conferences by the electric company, the governor, and one of the Emergency Agencies, all telling us to be prepared.

I am prepared. My friends, with whom I keep in touch by phone calls and texts, are prepared.

We wait. And wait. At every update, we are told that the storm is coming. Give the reporters credit. They try to keep the suspense at high levels, but often morning arrives, and even our meteorologist gives up, calling the storm an unorganized mess that will bring us some rain and wind.

BUT………. Not to be daunted by a failed storm, our reporters put a positive spin on 3 days of anticipation, preparation, and worry. Consider this good practice for the next storm, they say. I guess so, I tell myself as I unlatch and fold back the shutters, drag the patio furniture back outside, gather up all of the flashlights, and return them to their place in the drawers. Until next time.

****Note: I am not downplaying the seriousness of dangerous hurricanes or blizzards, nor am I advocating non-preparedness. It is ALWAYS better to be prepared for these storms. I am simply injecting a little humor into our lives - a whimsical look at life.