How To Talk Your Spouse Into Marriage Counseling (What To Do If Your Spouse Is Unwilling To Go Through Marriage Counseling)

People vary in their perception of marriage and differ as well in their reasons for getting married. Some believe that it's all about love while the others think it's deeper than just pure love and that maintaining the relationship requires efforts from both the husband and wife.

There's no exact formula for a marriage to work because it all depends on the couples involved. The adjustment period right from the start of the marriage alone may already overwhelm the spouses. This is the time both partners the face reality of married life together with no turning back. It is during this period when the husband and wife finally get to see each other's real behavior and how each goes about his or her daily routine.

Depending on the couple's plans, they may or may not decide to have a child right away. Creating a family is normally the goal of marriage but spouses can choose the best time to do this. For some couples, financial matters need to be considered first before starting a family while for the others, right timing is a major factor.

When couples, however, fail to agree on certain matters, the outcome is conflict. Opposing views and opinions can be a cause as well as stress from work and household chores. Arguments are a normal part of marriage so long as they don't lead to serious fights.

This leads to the importance of communication in marriage. Verbal communication in particular is vital in preventing conflicts. When couples find a way to communicate their views and feelings in an honest manner, there is a good chance for issues to be resolved without having to argue on them. Finding a time to discuss issues and look for solutions together is more appropriate than getting into arguments.

When problems that remain unresolved for quite some time continue to bother spouses, sometimes the situation leads to the marital relationship falling apart. As the issues affect the husband and wife, the cold treatment can start to surface which can make the situation rather tense.

Some wives can stretch their patience when in this situation and would rather keep the issues within themselves. But they have always an option to seek marriage counseling when they feel like it. The problem doesn't have to be very serious before a spouse finds help from a third and neutral party. In addition, counseling does not necessarily require the attendance of both partners because even just one spouse can seek professional advice should he or she thinks it's necessary. Counselors, however, prefer that both spouses attend the sessions together to work out their differences and to better understand each other.

Marriage counselors exist to help save the marriage while it is still not too late. They are professional and friendly people whom a husband or wife can approach any time they need advice and tips on handling their marital relationship and how to keep it strong going forward. The goal of counseling is to unveil the underlying causes of the couple's problems and this can only be achieved if couples are honest and sincere towards each other as well as towards their therapist.

What to Do If You Have a Spouse Unwilling to Go Through Marriage Counseling

Picture this scenario: You and your spouse have been arguing lately, and the intensity of these arguments have escalated to the point where you think you need to go through marriage counseling. Problem is, you have a spouse unwilling to go through marriage counseling. What then do you do?

Unfortunately, this is a problem that many couples encounter. Often times, they blame the causes of their arguments on the pressures of work and providing for the family, more or less missing the fact that they themselves may be the very reason for the tension in the marriage. Therefore, they convince themselves that they are only going through a particularly rough patch and they will resolve the issue when the storm passes. But then this doesn't happen all the time, and many couples who face this situation end up in splitsville.

Some spouses, more commonly the men, refuse to go through counseling because they feel that it is a waste of time to have someone who knows nothing about them prod them about their personal lives. If you are in this situation, or you have a spouse unwilling to go through marriage counseling, don't consider this the end of the road yet, and there is still something you can do about it.

At the very minimum, you have to sit down together and have a serious talk about your relationship. Talk about the way things are, and describe them as fact - avoid speaking out of emotion (although this is difficult) if you can, so as not to add color to or take away details of certain events that have transpired. Emphasize your concern and commitment to make the marriage work. Gently suggest the idea of marriage counseling and request your spouse to think about it.

No matter what, never force your spouse to do anything he or she doesn't want to do, as this may cause even more tension and bitterness in the marriage. You cannot change someone's mind, but you can change your behavior in the way you deal with and react to what he or she says. Give him or her time to process the situation, and given that you have respected his or her decision to think about it first, the spouse unwilling to go through marriage counseling may be willing to give it a try.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

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