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How to Reconcile with Your past and Stop Being a Victim of It

Living in the present is important

By Kenan ReynaPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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How to Reconcile with Your past and Stop Being a Victim of It
Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

Go through the conversations and conflicts that took place last week, or if you blame yourself for the mistake you made many years ago, then such a fixation on the past can fill your life with suffering for a long time.

A man cannot become stronger if his mind is full of thoughts about past mistakes, grievances, and regrets.

The obsession with the past is one of the most common psychological problems when you simply get stuck in your routine and can't let go of something that can't be returned.

Of course, a certain amount of introspection can be helpful, but sometimes to become stronger, you need to be able to focus on the present.

Looking back, it's impossible to enjoy what's going on around you.

Despite a large number of different exercises to strengthen the power of the mind, which can be useful in curing past addiction, I offer you two strategies. Which will help you move on:

1. Get a realistic view of the past

It may take some time to understand why you are stuck in the past. Do you feel that you are worthy of further growth? Or maybe you hurt someone and now you think the trap of the past is your punishment? Have you been resentful because you think your anger is ruining someone's life? Maybe someone hurt you and now you're afraid to live on because their misbehavior won't look so bad?

Sometimes focusing on the past is an easy way to distract from the present.

If you are unhappy now, you may be tempted to romanticize your happiness "then." Maybe you remember all the good things you had in the previous relationship, reducing the quarrels and problems that became the cause of their breakup.

Or you may blame yourself for the "wrong choice." But the truth is that people are not allowed to know what their life would have been like if they had made a different decision at some point. Depending on the circumstances, you may just need to allow yourself to go ahead and then make an attempt to stop in time as you begin to mentally go back to the past.

2. Focus on the lessons you have learned

The thoughts of injustice or the unpleasant nature of the event can make you fixate on the past. And to be healed, you have to focus on the facts, not the emotions.

Go through excruciating memories and focus on the facts, not the despair. Don't forget where you stayed, what you did, who was there beside you, and what happened to you. And then remember what lessons you learned from what you experienced or after you survived such a difficult time.

One of the most valuable life lessons you receive in the most difficult times of your life.

Therefore, whether you keep a diary or lose sight of what happened in your head, try to treat the details as if you were a storyteller simply stating the facts. Repeating this exercise will help make your life a lot easier.

3. Accept your past, accept the present, and plan for the future

The decision not to focus on the past has nothing to do with ignoring what happened. This often means reconciling and accepting your own experience to continue living in the present. Therefore, it determines the depth of the emotional damage you are obsessed with in the past and allows you to live.

If someone has offended you, you may need to forgive them, but that doesn't mean "forgetting." You can stay true to your decision to stop communicating with a person, but rather focus on forgiveness, letting go of all your anger and resentment.

Your vision for the future should be based on who you want to become and not on what you are used to being. Therefore, analyze the past as long as you can learn from it, but make sure that past anger, shame, and guilt do not stop you from moving forward.

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