How to pick the right guy

MAKE sure he has a personality which binds with yours. But how do you tell? I'm going to be giving the know hows to tell if hes really into you or if hes after that bootay only. Many of us get into relationships or start seeing someone without really knowing if they are the right ones for us. We don't really know how to tell if its going to last as love is a waiting game and it all happens so fast. However, we can seek certain traits in a man to see if he is going to be Mr Right for us as individuals. First step before even looking into him, is looking into yourself and assessing ones self to know who you are. Whats the point in looking for your perfect match when you don't even know how to understand yourself. So, assess what you like to do for fun, are you a social butterfly or are you a homely person who prefers a horror movie with a glass of wine instead of a cocktail at the bar? Are you sporty? Do you want to focus on your career and then have kids or are you ready for kids now?. Get to know yourself and it will be 10 times easier to match yourself with someone who may want similar if not the same goals as you.

Once you have figured yourself out and have set yourself up for success, you can start swiping right, get ready for the bar or how ever you lot pick up men. We all know those sleazy ones who insist after a few porn star martinis if you want to accompany him back to his house, definitely kick these ones to the door unless this is your thing. 9 times out of 10 he won't call you back. Moving swiftly on, pay more interest in the one who looks at you and smiles across the room a couple of times before coming over to say a gracious hello. Those men are often uncertain and shy with introducing themselves and is a sign that he likes you. You want someone who can hold a long conversation and has the ability to adapt and throw in new topic starters. What we don't want is someone who goes on and on and on about his line of work or how successful he is. You don't want someone to impress you with money as being a gold digger will not provide you with 100% happiness in a long term relationship. Nor will a boastful husband. Your friends will think hes a dick. I'm all for not listening to what outsiders say about the relationship but close girl friends will be right about your man. Listen.

We want the man who shows interest in seeing you again assuming your introduction has turned out well. If you want to rush back to his place and take your clothes off by all means if that's your thing. My advice is to not look too interested even if you can't stop picturing him naked. We want to look like calm and sophisticated ladies as theirs nothing sexier. We want the man who suggests getting your number. Assuming HE texts you first he suggests a date. Its important to make you laugh, try connect with him with your humour. Assess if he can find the same wave as you and work with it. I go by the rule of 3. This is a test to see if he can compliment you 3 times in the 3 times you see him. 1 compliment each time he sees you shows attraction and that sexual tension builds. Still, keep it in your pants for now. Nowadays its common for the bill to be split (i always offer) However i find the man who insists paying is a high hoper and has been raised well by his mama. This shows dedication to making an impression on you whilst being a complete gentleman.

Always reflect back onto yourself, remind yourself of what you want and what your looking for. Ask questions. Not 21 question were not 50 cent here. We want to throw in a few "so where do you see yourself in the next couple of years" "are you close with your mum and family" "what are your hobbies" the usual. Suss out if hes into the same things as you. Now they say 'opposites attract' i call bullshit on this statement. In my opinion if you cannot count 5 things you have in common with your partner it will not work out long term. Having common interests, hobbies or similar goals will have a large impact on your lives together. You can bond over doing something you both love and have something to do, to talk about. Find new things to do together, try something new at that Italian restaurant you both love. If you have nothing in common, relationships can get boring and frustrating really quickly and one or both partners get bored. If two people want a child and both like tennis they will do all they can to achieve those goals. If one partner wants a baby and the other says no, i want to travel and they cant comply or make scarifies their relationship wont last. Its not compatible. This is why finding out what the other person wants and likes is important early in the first meeting or the first few dates.

You want a man who can make you laugh. Laughter is the key in any relationship. It uplifts you and can connect you together as it helps you understand what gets each other ticking. It can make conversations so much fun. If your man who your on this date with doesn't make you laugh or tickle your pickle, i hope hes out the door by now.

Looks ain't everything. Yes, its a bonus if you want to rip his shirt off and stare into his eyes. The admiration of someones face will age and change. It helps to be sexually and physically attracted to someone but its how they will make you feel when those looks change. Its about who they are and what they want to build. Does it match with your vision? Since you've got your goals and common interests on the table and they seem to match up that's when you can put the compatibility aside and see if you can both work well together independently. Whilst its great that you'll get on well its important to be able to handle space and continue to be your own person. Don't forget your not turning into them, your you, your just building with them.

If you feel comfortable with him, great. Try throwing a secret into the mix, see how he takes it. Lets not scare him. Tell him something you consider to be embarrassing and if he laughs and takes it well and even shares his own, you know he can still think your sexy even with your quirks. For you, you'll see he can be trusting and open with you. Comfort is key here.

If he makes sacrifices to see you, your winning. This is a great way to tell if hes serious and wants to get to know you more. Blowing off his friends to see you is also a sign that he may have mentioned you. A man who shows off his new watch over you is not the one for you. If hes telling his friends how beautiful you are and wants to show you off to the world and even his parents, keep this one.

Finally, one way to tell if someone will be compatible long term is when the arguments occur. Conflicts in relationships can tell a lot about a person in so many ways. If he addresses the situation with calmness and talks not yells, then hes willing to work it out and hear you out too. Hes a man who shows he wants to solve this issue rather than carry it on. Its important to address both your opinions appropriately. Communication is always key in understanding ones feelings. If its a healthy conflict and is solved within a couple of hours or straight away, it'll last.

So Mr Right is hopefully on the way and makes you laugh and shows you off with the same aspirations and goals as you. If your feeling like your current relationship is lacking tlc and your the one giving your all and receiving noting back, see my story 'Half Love' on my page for tips on tacking this.