How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Miss You (How To Get Her To Miss You And Want You Back)

A couple of days ago I wrote an article for women about how to get back a boyfriend. But what about all the guys?

Given that around 80% of all relationships are broken up by the woman, then there should be more men who are left feeling alone, confused, hurt... and who want to know what THEY can do to get back with their ex girlfriend.

Well, just like for the girls, there is no shortage of misleading advice floating around on how to get back your ex girlfriend. Most of it is good sounding, touchy-feely stuff written by people who (in my opinion) really don't know how relationships actually work in the real world.

They'll tell you to take some time to have a good look at what went wrong. To sit down and have a good long chat with your ex, and basically put yourself at their mercy. Begging to take you back.

If you think that's going to work. Good luck to you.

But if you want to get your ex girlfriend coming back to you. Then forget all that stuff. Because I'm going to give you the real deal. Methods that actually work.

First up, I'll make the assumption that she was the one who did the breaking up. Personally I've been in both positions, and if it was you who broke up with her, then you really don't need to many techniques. In most cases you'll find you can get back together simply by telling her you'd like to do so.

But I'm guessing if you're reading this that either A) She broke up with you. Or B) you've tried telling her you'd like to get back together, and it didn't work.

And just a quick side note. It doesn't really matter too much what her reasons were for breaking up with you. They boil down in most cases to two or three real reasons.

The three real reasons behind 99% of break-ups

1. You have stopped being a challenge to her. In essence she is bored because you act as though you are completely conquered. Women like to be excited. They enjoy having you in their lives, but they also want to feel like other women want you too, and that they have in some way won you away from them.

2. Similarly to reason number one, you're suffocating her and putting too much responsibility for the relationship on her. You're acting completely 'won-over' by doing things like... always saying "yes", "I love you", essentially by being too needy.

3. You might have done something to really betray her trust. Such as cheating on her and so on.

None of these reasons are insurmountable, by the way.

But the thing is, that usual run-of-the-mill-advice of sitting down and talking it out isn't going to work.

So what will work?

Well, one thing that certainly won't work is trying to change your ex. If you are going to get some different results, first realize that all the change will have to come from you. Change yourself and you will change the results you get.

Having said that, follow the principles below (in order) and you'll have her back in your life before you know it.

Principle Number One - You don't really need her anyway

What? Yes I do!

No, you don't. You might want her back, you might even want her back really badly. But you do not need her in your life to be happy.

Think back before you met your ex girlfriend, were you happy then? I'll guess that you probably were generally happy.

Know this, that holding on to the false belief that you need you ex to be happy, is absolutely the biggest thing that is stopping you from winning her back. Absolutely no one is attracted, or wants to be around someone who gives off that type of needy energy.

So that's the first thing. You don't need her. Sure you'd like to have her back in your life, but if not you will be happy anyway.

I'm serious here. If you stake your happiness on her, you're going down a road of loneliness and despair that might make you feel justified in being sorry for yourself, but it won't get you what you really want.

Once you understand this (read it over if you have to) then move on to...

Principle Number Two - Quit trying so hard

Lots of guys mess this up. Often because they haven't really understood the concept of principle number one and giving up on their neediness.

Real life is not exactly like the movies. Where the hero works his butt off to get the girl. In real life it needs to be fun. It should be relatively easy.

You just can't work your way back into her heart. Instead, you need to attract her back in to your life.

That's why principle number two is to stop trying so hard! Stop all the "I love you's", all the deeply emotional talks (and tears), stop trying to analyze all the reasons why she should come back. And definitely stop trying to buy her back with gifts.

All this type of behavior is putting pressure on her. And pressure is what pushes her away. Instead of pushing and pressuring, you want to attract. And what attracts a woman more than anything else?

Fun.

So keep your happy face on when you're around her. Keep conversations light, happy and short. Don't go back into sad-sack lane (at least - not while she's around).

Part of this is removing all pressure from her to do anything. Which leads us to...

Principle Number Three - Bringing out the big guns

The whole idea here, is not to go out and try to get her back. To NOT pursue her. To remove all pressure from her to get back together.

We're also not going to get all emotional and needy around her. Right?

Ok, the whole point of this is to convince her that you aren't going to be that guy that becomes a stalker. That needy guy who needs her in their life to be happy.

NO woman wants this. They do not want (even if they say they do) to be the number one most important thing in your life.

But at this point, they probably still think that you're 'in their pocket' and that if they wanted to they could say the word and have you running back.

In essence, in their mind you're still 'theirs' and they haven't really lost you.

Which is why you need to make her miss you.

It's absolutely the most powerful thing you can do to have your woman start chasing you again.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend To Miss You!

Perhaps you're thinking that you are lucky that your girlfriend missed you when throwing a dart at your head but you might want more than that. In order to hit a bulls-eye with her heart, follow these arrows of knowledge.

Step 1: Be The Dream Man: The posters that adorn your girlfriend's wall give you an idea of a persona to become. It's easy for Hollywood to paint a dream man because it's only a 2-1/2 hour tidbit of the guy's life but you should thrive for a longer sampling of perfection to get her to miss you.

Step 2: Be Happy Single: Some guys hop from girlfriend to girlfriend so fast that when you actually do see them sad, you don't know which lady they're crying over. If you want your ex-girlfriend to actually think she mattered in your life, stay single for awhile and be happy in your new disposition.

Step 3: Don't Overindulge: Instead of overdoing it with booze, instead get caught up in the news. Basically, you want your girlfriend to be proud of you even though you're split up so give her a reason to. Passing out on the bar for a record 9 straight nights doesn't really accomplish this task.

Step 4: Spend Time With Your Family: The only skirt you should be seen around in the aftermath of your breakup is that of your mother or other family members. Your ex will start to miss you if she sees that you actually can be a family man and it never hurts to talk to your mom, grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins and more to get reconnected.

Step 5: Help Out And Have Her Hear About It: It's alright to miss your girl but eventually you'll want to step away from the Air Supply headphones and out into public. A great way to show your ex that you're doing fine is to help out around town, whether it be at an animal shelter or just helping a friend move. Girls will miss a thoughtful, helpful man more than a selfish, egotistical one.

Step 6: The Start Over Speech: Eventually, you'll want to let your ex-girlfriend know that you still have feelings for her. A great way to subtlety tell her you care is with a start-over proposal. Tell her that you're logging in quality hours making yourself a better person and when she's ready, you'd love to give the relationship another shot.

Step 7: No Negative Approach: If she says no to your initial advances, don't look at it as missing your target, instead view it as the need to fine tune your aim. Keep a positive attitude no matter what gets thrown at you and in the end you'll be spot on.

But what next?

An important point here. When she starts to chase you again. Or whenever you talk to her, there is something you need to let her know so that she knows how you feel.

You need to let her know that yes, you would like to get back together, but you understand why she broke up with you, and you are completely fine with that and understand.

In other words, you'd prefer to be together, but you're happy anyway.

This way, once you instill that fear of losing you (for real) she will feel when you begin to date others she will know there is still a ray of hope there if she starts to pursue you.

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