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How to Keep Your Relationship Fresh

A guide for gay men.

By Gareth JohnsonPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
Top Story - June 2017
How to keep your relationship fresh (image: Pixabay)

Relationships are hard work. We all know that. It’s fun and exciting when it all begins, you fall in love, and you make a commitment. But the day-to-day hassles of life can easily take their toll.

Sure, you still love your partner, but arguing about who’s turn it is to take out the garbage is a bit of a passion killer. You can’t bring your A-game every day, and sometimes the realisation hits you that it's Saturday night and you're both sitting silently in front of the television instead of talking, sharing your feelings, or doing things together that are fun and that you both enjoy.

Before you know it, it's been over a week since you’ve had sex, and a lot of frustration and resentment is starting to build up.

Now I'm no expert on relationships, dating, or life in general. But I have had a number of boyfriends over the years – some serious, some not so serious. Some of my relationships have lasted for years and involved buying white goods, others have lasted only a few minutes and didn't even require the exchange of names.

But, for what it's worth, here's a few of the things that I've tried in various relationships when I've realised that things needed to be spiced up a little.

*Disclaimer: While I've tried all of these things, not all of them have worked. In fact, sometimes they have the opposite effect to what I was intending.

Make a gym date

You don’t have to work out together, but making a time when you can meet at the gym after work not only motivates you both to get to the gym on a regular basis, but also gives you something in common to talk about and an experience to share. You can laugh at the muscle-heads in the weight-room or try a new class together. If your gym has a sauna, you could get a bit hot and sweaty together – the imminent possibility of being discovered adds a thrill to any erotic encounter.

Play games together

How to keep your relationship fresh (image: Pixabay)

I recently spent a couple of days staying with my parents (who are both retired). Every morning, over breakfast, they sit together and do the crossword. They work together at it, debating possible answers, enjoying the challenge. My sister always seems to have a game of scrabble on the go with her husband — whenever they stop for a coffee somewhere and the kids run off to the playground, my sister pulls out the iPad and they resume their Triple Word Score battle. Find something fun that you like doing together whenever you’ve got a bit of spare time.

Get competitive

How to keep your relationship fresh (image: Pixabay)

Everyone loves reality cooking shows — why not make your own? Challenge your friends or neighbours to a cook-off. You and your partner cook one night and then your opponents cook another night. Everyone scores the dishes. It doesn’t matter who wins, but it’s something fun and silly that you and your partner can do together.

Learn a language

How to keep your relationship fresh (image: Pixabay)

I've tried Spanish lessons and French lessons. Neither attempt saved the relationships in question, but they did give me a pretty good grounding in some basic language skills that have been useful when travelling.

Get a bit kinky in the boudoir

How to keep your relationship fresh (image: Pixabay)

Focus on sex to really keep your relationship humming. Talk about what you both like, things you'd like to try. Outdoor sex can be fun and a bit adventurous, or try a threesome or whatever other combination takes your fancy. Don't let other people's rules define your relationship, find what works for you.

Don't give up

How to keep your relationship fresh (image: Pixabay)

There's no silver bullet or magic secret to building a strong and sustainable relationship — it takes persistence, perseverance, and a whole lot of patience. The key thing is not to be complacent — keep working at it, if you try something and it doesn’t really work, try something else! Or maybe just face up to the reality that it's time to move on. Not all relationships last forever.

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About the Creator

Gareth Johnson

A non-smoker who loves to laugh... (and binge on travel, food, movies, fashion, and theatre...). Find me on Twitter @gtvlondon

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    Gareth JohnsonWritten by Gareth Johnson

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