How to Deal with Relationship Anxiety

Anxiety can be a pain to deal with, especially in relationships. Even if you know that what you’re thinking is irrational, you can’t help but feel unbothered or unsettled at the thought.

Am I enough to make my partner stay? Do they really love me? Are they going to break up with me?

These insecurities often pop out of nowhere, and it can be a pain to deal with them, especially when it affects your relationship. Even if you try to put these thoughts at the back of your head, it simply never goes away.

So how exactly do you get rid of these thoughts?

Every person has a different approach to handling anxiety. But sometimes, it can be difficult to deal with it by yourself. It can be helpful to take a fresh look at things and ask for advice. A little bit of research can go a long way in helping you learn what works for you.

Addressing the Cause

Pinpointing the root cause of your anxiety can be difficult. If possible, it’s best to consult a relationship counselor to help you sort yourself out.

But even if you were to earn the support of a relationship counselor, the effort to change still lies in your hands. You have to do some self-reflection and discover for yourself what exactly is causing you to be like this.

It’s fine to feel anxious in a relationship. You are entitled to your own emotions. What’s NOT allowed is letting it negatively affect your relationship and your personal life.

When you entertain these negative thoughts, you are unknowingly planting seeds of doubt in your mind. The more you listen to them, the more they will persist. This, in turn, can sour your relationship with your partner.

If you feel like you are developing anxiety over your relationship, take immediate action. Otherwise, it will cause you more problems in the future.

Coping with Relationship Anxiety

Now, there’s no perfect way to deal with anxiety. We each have our own ways to cope, and it works somehow. It is strongly recommended, however, to find healthy ways to deal with it.

It’s advisable to find a good distraction whenever you feel down. If not, you’ll only be inviting negative thoughts.

Here are a few suggestions you might want to look into:

1. Go Out with Your Trusted Family and Friends

Everyone needs a support system. One great way to deal with your relationship anxiety is to spend time with a family member or a friend.

Verbalizing what you’re feeling inside helps you acknowledge what you feel. You don’t necessarily have to talk about your relationship anxiety. Opening up about personal issues is a step-by-step process, and you have to carefully choose who you are entrusting your personal information to.

Spending time with them is enough. Whenever you don’t feel like yourself, it pays to have comfortable company.

2. Appreciate Your Partner’s Little Acts of Love

A little act of kindness goes a long way. But because of everything going on in our life, it can be difficult to notice. That is unless it’s the in-your-face kind of kindness.

Try to appreciate every little thing that your partner does for you. Even something as simple as preparing your morning coffee can mean so much — you just have to appreciate the sentiment behind it.

3. Treat Yourself

Find a pastime that works out for your schedule. You can choose to go shopping or maybe go biking. You can even get into a new hobby.

It can be difficult to enjoy the things you like when your thoughts are occupied. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t successfully distract yourself. Instead, find a new coping mechanism. The world has so much entertainment to offer. You just have to find the right one for you.

4. Open Up to Your Partner

You have to let your partner know what you are struggling with.

Tell them that you are currently dealing with anxiety and that you’re learning how to cope with it. If you aren’t comfortable opening up to your partner yet, that is perfectly fine. But at some point in your relationship, you have to tell them about your insecurities.

In addition to that, you have to avoid relying on your partner too much for emotional support. That burden might carry over to them. It’s best to create a healthy boundary between you two.

Relationships are a give and take. Every time you rely on your partner for support, try to give back. In fact, you don’t need an occasion to let them know how much you appreciate them.

Whether it’s in actions or words, the gesture won’t be lost on them.

5. Embrace Your Past

You wouldn’t develop any trust or abandonment issues out of thin air — there must be a reason behind it. It may be because of your past relationships or life experiences. Whatever it is, you can’t let it affect your current relationship.

It can be difficult to change when you are already used to reacting a certain way. Old habits do indeed die hard, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You can always work on improving yourself.

Letting go of your past can be a hard pill to swallow. Not everyone can let go of grudges immediately. It can take years before you finally get to embrace your past trauma.

Likewise, you don’t have to rush to resolve your trauma. The important thing is you don’t let it affect your partner or your relationship.

Moving Forward

Do you know the secret behind the most successful relationships? It’s when they grow together. This is what brings meaning to relationships.

You and your partner each have flaws and imperfections. You don’t necessarily have to be perfect to enter a relationship. Remember, the reason why you’re dating is to see if it works between you two.

Allow each other some space to grow and build a strong support system. Relationship anxiety isn’t easy to get over. But with the collaborative effort from you and your partner, you might just be able to remedy that.