How did you know?

During a recent family what's ap chat we got on to the subject of my sisters up coming wedding. We joked about venues and cost and if all was sorted. Then she asked a simple question I don't think I had consciously considered before.

"how did you know your wife was the one?"

Simple question, I suppose not having to stop and weigh up the pros and cons of marrying meant it was right . If I had needed to think too hard then it would have meant at least some doubt was hiding somewhere. We had postponed the wedding twice over covid and had got there third time lucky.

I hadn't had a second thought from proposal til wedding day, or indeed at any stage beforehand. 14 months in to the marriage I still don't have regrets. We have hit some hurdles along the way but then again who hasnt. The fact is that none of these were the fault of either of us so we have just worked to get through them.

Jobs have been lost, forced financially to move back in with in laws and I have a chronic pain condition that has no cure. All things we are doing our best to deal with. My health limits some things we can do and limits the hours I can work but again we overcome.

Living with in laws is far from ideal but with the cost of everything going up it wasnt something we could avoid. Sharing bills and food costs was the only way forward. Also with my hours being cut it was the safest option to choose to move before we were thrown out. Privacy is limited if we leave the one room we have to ourselves. In fact our relationship started with me moving in and we started in the room we have returned too.

Its almost like starting over again, except for the furniture sitting in storage waiting for us to rehouse it. We will find somewhere, its not if but its when. The obstacles haven't changed but it just means getting there will be a bit harder. It will make it sweeter when we get there that we had to try harder on the way.

I have been married before, it was incredibly hard due to disabled children and massive debts. I left 12 years ago as my mind and body couldn't take anymore. There were some medium term relationships after that until this one began. Its over 6 years old and I believe as strong as ever. After a while I think problems are just added to our collective list, we work on them and dismiss them until the next one appears.

We share some intrests and have a few unique ones, we can sit together doing completely different things quite happily. We dont feel the need to try and involve the other one for the sake of it, I think different interests can help. It gives us things to do and we don't feign interest in the others interests. We have begun to share the other ones interests occasionally as well, only by genuine interest though.

So whatever it is we have works, arguments are thankfully rare. Often they are bourne from mistunderstangs and can be dealt with. Others we have to agree to disagree and try to not let them fester, We say we love each other multiple times a day, including last thing at night or when I head to work. It all feels natural and genuine, its not forced and always reciprocated.

So although I dont think I stopped to think if she was the one I know she was and still is.