Hard Decisions and Little Howls

Snow drifted through the passenger door as Leo opened it. It took a minute to take in the sight of the well-dressed man in tweed hanging over his steering wheel. The horn was blaring. As if this weren’t enough, loose cash was strewn around the leather interior of the car and everything sparkled a little because of the snow. It didn’t surprise Leo that things were so disheveled in the newer Mercedes. He had just seen it fishtail, veer off the road and bounce down the snowy hill before it came to a halting stop. But it was the sight of the cash that made his stomach tighten in that way it did when he knew hard decisions would need to be made.

Hard decisions had already been made. It was a hard decision to turn around, pull over, slide down the snowy hill, and now open this door. Maybe it shouldn’t have been a hard decision between this and just pulling over and calling 911, or worse, driving on.

He was here wasn’t he?

His first instinct was to say “Dude, are you okay,” but the manner in which the man was dressed changed his words before they came out and he said, “Sir, are you alright?” Leo leaned into the Mercedes and gently touched the older man’s back. The man coughed and Leo pulled away. “You’ve been in a wreck. I can call an ambulance or I can take you to the hospital.”

“How long will an ambulance take?” the man asked as he grabbed his head and moaned.

“I don’t know. We’re pretty far from any town. If it were sunny out, I would say wait here. I don’t want to hurt you by moving you, but this snow is coming down.”

“Young man, I am sure that my back is not broken,” the older man said with a deep and surprisingly steady voice. “I think I would know. I can stand, but I do think I should go to the hospital.”

Leo looked back toward the direction of his car and sighed. “You’re going to have to go up that hill; maybe I should call an ambulance.”

“You mean the embankment,” the older man said.

Leo grabbed his phone and called 911. The call didn’t go out. They were in a valley. He cursed himself for not trying to call when he was in his car. “I might have to go call…” Leo trailed off because the man was already pushing the car door open. Leo ran around to help this stubborn man. Leo grabbed the driver’s door just as the old man stood with a surprising amount of speed. Standing, he did use Leo’s shoulder for balance.

“I’ll be fine,” the old man said into Leo’s ear. “Grab the money, put it in the suitcase. There should be a black notebook in the suitcase, if it’s not there, try to find it.”

As Leo followed the old man’s instructions, he thought about how some people were good at giving orders, and some were not. Leo was naturally good at taking orders, but he had found, in his twenty-six years, that orders and authority needed to be questioned.

In this case, Leo was fine with helping, but only so much. He would take the man to the hospital but nowhere else. His grandfather had told him that boundaries were the best way to prevent taking on someone else’s problems. If this man needed to get this money to someone, that was not Leo’s problem. He thought this as he put the last of the money in the suitcase. The black book was on the floor in the back, sprawled open so Leo could see the delicate drawings and writings. Leo went to shut it, but caught the first page, which said, “Dreams to Manifest.” Luckily, the lock on the suitcase still worked. Leo shut the suitcase, and then the car door and looked ahead to where the man was. The old man had made pretty good time and was walking slowly but steadily in the direction of the road. Leo ran to catch up, slipping a little as he went.

The man didn’t wait for Leo to catch his breath before he introduced himself. “My name is Avery Elder.” Leo laughed, still breathing hard. “You’re laughing at my name.”

“I am,” Leo said. “You are elderly and you are Avery Elder and that is funny to me right now, because, I am worried, and for some reason, things get funnier when I get nervous. But hey, you are one tough dude, Avery Elder.”

The old man laughed and then winced. “I broke a few ribs. My daughter is going to have a conniption.”

“A what?”

“A conniption. Is that word lost now?”

“I guess so,” Leo said with a shrug, having no idea what a conniption was.

“So what is your name?”

“Oh sorry…”

“Your name is ‘Oh Sorry’? What an unfortunate name.”

They both laughed. The old man winced again and shook his head. Leo introduced himself, “My name is Leonardo Reid, but people call me Leo.”

“You are a good kid, Leo.”

“Thank you, sir. I don’t really feel like a kid anymore.”

“To me, your mother would probably seem like a kid.”

“I dare you to call her a kid.”

“I am probably broken enough.”

The old man had been walking with purpose, not following Leo’s tracks but aiming for farther down the embankment. Leo understood what he was doing. He was aiming for where the embankment was at its lowest. When they got to the three-foot-tall rock wall they both sighed.

“I had hoped it would be a bit lower,” the old man said.

“Where your car went down isn’t so steep. It’s more a hill than this wall.”

“We are here now,” the old man said.

“How is your arm strength?” Leo asked.

“Better than my balance.”

“I can get behind you and steady you. I’ll come back down for the suitcase.”

The old man put one foot on the first rock and then went hand over hand, with slow deliberate step after considered step. Leo held his breath the entire time, as he steadied the man from the back.

Before they both knew it, they were standing on the road. “I didn’t know I could do that,” the old man said, and to Leo’s great surprise, Avery Elder howled. It was a sad little howl as he grabbed his ribs, but it was a definite howl. Maybe the old man had hit his head too hard. Leo went back down and grabbed the suitcase.

Once they were driving, Leo felt relief flow over him. His heater was working, so it was warm and his old Subaru was good in the snow, so he was not too worried about the drive.

“So do you want the money or a black book?” Avery asked after they had been driving for a few minutes.

“Neither sir. Well, actually, you could give me twenty bucks for gas.”

Avery laughed and winced, “Oh these ribs are going to be hard on me.” Clearing his throat he said, “Do you want to know where the money came from?”

“I feel like I am in a movie right now.”

“I sold a boat.”

“In the snow?”

“I sold a boat two weeks ago and I put the cash that my friend gave me for the boat in my suitcase and then I forgot about it. I mean I thought I had put the money in the bank and the suitcase was at home. I know my memory is not what I would like it to be, but I can’t believe I forgot about it. I am worried about myself.”

“I am worried about you too,” Leo said, but he wasn’t referring to Avery’s memory problems.

“Do you know how much money that was?”

“No idea. I am not around cash that often, and I probably have never had that much money in my life. My friends and I joke that one day we will be thousandaires.”

“Thousandaires?”

“Yah, the dream is to have a few thousand dollars in the bank.”

“Do you want to have thousands of dollars or do you want to spend thousands of dollars?” Avery asked as he gingerly changed his position in the seat.

“Now that is a good question.”

“I sold the boat for twenty-thousand dollars, but I am not sure what is in that suitcase anymore.”

“Twenty-thousand dollars,” Leo said with a smile. "I didn't miss a bill."

“Money is not an answer. What I have in my black book is the answer, money is just a tool, but I will give you this money that I obviously don’t need because I forgot about it, but I would like to hear how you spend it—unless you want a black book, which would be a more reasonable gift.”

Leo ignored all of this and got the old man to the hospital. The last time he saw the old man he was in a wheelchair, with the suitcase settled on his lap. Leo remembered Avery looking very small as he was wheeled away, and the suitcase, which contained twenty-thousand dollars and a black notebook, looking rather large.

***

The logistics of getting the twenty-thousand dollars to the kid was not as simple as handing over the cash. The kid would not take it, which was probably the smart thing to do. The kid was sure that Avery had a concussion. Avery did have a concussion, but once he healed from said concussion, he still wanted to give the kid the boat-money. He had gotten the kid’s name, address, and phone number, telling him he would send him some gas money. Avery thought about sending a check but instead asked the kid for his bank information, to send him the “gas money”, and then Avery transferred the $20,000 into the kid’s bank account.

“There are no give backs on this, just let me know what you do with it.” Avery had said in the first email exchange they had, adding, “There is what you want to do with this money and what you will do with it. Please don’t just tell me what you want to do with it.” Avery wrote Leo.

Avery hadn’t heard from the kid in over a year. Leo had written a few times, thanking him and double-checking if this was what Avery wanted to do. And then Leo went silent. This hurt Avery deeply. Avery wasn’t sure what he expected, but he didn’t expect radio silence.

And then there was the email, with a picture of Leo standing proudly in front of a forest of scraggly trees and a very small cabin on blocks.

“This land is mine. I used part of that “gas money” to put a down payment on the land. The other part of the money I used to build myself this tiny home, which is saving me a lot of money in rent. I am so sorry I haven’t written before this. Getting the land was not easy, only a credit union will lend on raw land. I am still building this tiny home. The inside is not yet finished. I’ll send you pictures once it is.

“I didn’t want to send you an email about what I was going to do, but what I did do. I know I should have communicated sooner. You gave me a stake in this world, sir. I am thankful.

“I bought my own black book to put my dreams in. It seems to be working, and whenever I have a small success, I give out a little howl in your honor.”