Grey Clouds

"There's grey clouds coming. Hopefully that doesn't mean a storm."

These were the words Olivia woke up to, after an all too brief nap.

She looked at her concerned husband, Caleb. He stood with such confidence, it was almost as if he felt he could protect their vessel.

But there they were, in what was probably the middle of the ocean. No phone reception. On a sailing ship. And the winds were all too quiet for the sail.

Olivia thought back for a moment - at first she had such immense excitement. But then she remembered how this life could be. And though she tried to remain calm, she couldn't help but sit back up and blurt out her frustrations.

"Why does this always happen, any time I try something new? It goes wrong, horribly wrong, and I'm turned off the whole experience."

Caleb pouted, feeling responsible. But he reminded himself aloud, "You chose to come, and you knew there would be risk."

"I don't know if I really did know. I was just trying to be more spontaneous."

"Well... this is how we learn," He shrugged.

Olivia sighed. She knew he was right. Nobody ever gets everything right the first time... Except the lucky or the naturally talented. And frankly, she didn't feel the wheel of fortune spun in her favour like that.

"I thought this was going to be more romantic... Some time alone. But now, I look around us, and I feel dread."

"Don't worry, we'll see some land soon, or - another ship - maybe even another sailing ship. We haven't been out here that long, we still have enough food... It's just going to take patience," Caleb convincingly uttered - still holding onto what confidence he could.

"I'm not a very patient person..."

"Why don't we talk then."

"About what?," She frowned, leaning back down and looking around.

He looked too, before closing his eyes. He took a deep, slow breath. Then looked around once more. Pleased.

"What do you think about the view? The fresh air?"

"I think it was nice at first. But nice things rarely last for me."

Caleb bit his lip for a moment. He couldn't help but question her attitude...

"Do you always look at the bad side of everything?"

"No... not always! I'm just used to bad things popping up." She retorted.

He sat down next to her. "I know you stress a lot about things, I thought this would be a way for us both to relax, to get away from the chaos of city life. Where you wouldn't have to think about anything."

"Well I'm sorry, but these gears are always going, and they will until they die."

Caleb smirked. "I suppose you feel out of your element here, just floating above the water. All the water just sits there peacefully, and sure when it's disturbed, it ripples a bit, but for the most part it all just flows, and sometimes very calmly. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from the ocean."

He laughed a bit to himself. "It's almost like you'd be calmer if it WAS stormy, and there were big waves rocking us about... I'd be freaking out, and you'd suddenly have this calmness amongst the storm."

Olivia grinned - he wasn't wrong... She peered over the side of their boat, down at the clear blue ocean. Hesitantly, she stuck her hands in. And felt a rush of the cool, unfiltered water. For a moment, she almost seemed happy - until she caught her own reflection. And a sombre tone filled her once again.

She looked back up to Caleb. "It's just calm on the surface. I know how to be that way, It just isn't always authentic to me. But you know that there's plenty going on down there - giant whales, and squids, and sharks - some eating each other, attacking each other. Getting thrown into nets to suffocate on the surface for us to eat..."

Caleb sighed. "I mean, that's just the cycle of life-"

"I know, but I'm saying life is ALWAYS naturally that kind of chaos. That's why it can be unsettling to see it so calm like this. You look at this ocean, and think it's all good just because it looks like that. But you don't really know. I look at it, and I'm thinking all of these things, and I think about how there's coral reef dying, and more and more plastic diluting into it that may eventually kill us all... how there's creatures we don't even know exist, as beautiful or horrifying as they may be, and we might never get to know of their existence."

Caleb smiled once more. "You have a thirst for knowledge, Olivia. It's one of the things I love about you... But we can't know everything. Sometimes we do just need to appreciate things for exactly what we do see."

"I know... but I can look at you and I don't always know. You might be thinking, pun intended - that there's other fish in the sea..."

Caleb is shocked. "Of course not."

Olivia thinks long before continuing, "I mean, I know... I'm just saying, you say that, and I trust it. But when can we ever really know? I see this calm, beautiful person before me, and I want to trust what you say. But I know that life doesn't always work like that. There's always more going on, and it's only the ripples on the surface that I am ever seeing, most of the time."

"Well, you know me, I think. And the more you know me, the deeper you'll be able to see, and understand me."

"Yeah, and it terrifies me a bit. Because so far you've always been perfect - enough... but what if there's things we don't know about each other yet?"

Caleb thinks. "Is there anything you need to tell me, Olivia?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Me neither." He smiles. "And I can't know that there are things you should tell me. I can only go off what you do tell me. After all, I can't make you tell me anything. But you've chosen to, and I appreciate it."

"Yeah... I'm sorry that I'm not always so easy to read myself. I'm trying to be authentic to you... more authentic than my friends seem to be in their relationships, I think... but anyway... that doesn't matter."

Caleb smiles, and moves closer. He puts his hand over her shoulder, and she rests her head upon his.

"You know Caleb, right now, I love you more than there are drops in this ocean."

He kisses her on the cheek. "Right now, Olivia, I love you with more clarity than this clear sky. And sure there's always going to be clouds in the distance that may appear, but we'll deal with them when they come."

Finally, there was a bit of wind. The sail began to flap so subtly that only Olivia noticed. Then she looked out, afar...

"Look!" She yelled with excitement and a point to the distance.

"That dot has turned into a ship... I think they're coming this way!"

Caleb gets up and walks over to look closer - it's still very distant. "I think you're right. Hard to tell right now but pretty sure it's a boat."

She suddenly fears. "What if they're pirates or something?"

Caleb scoffed. "Well luckily we're not carrying our treasure with us."

Olivia laughed. "Okay okay... fair enough. Come back here and lie down then, and look up at the sky with me."