Good Thing Husbands Are Cute

When I was growing up I always wondered why my Mom would sometimes be aggravated with my Dad. I didn’t yet have a husband, so I didn’t know. There is no Owner's Manuel for husbands; and every husband, just like every person, is unique. Some more unique than others...

Here are just a few of the boners my Dad pulled when I was growing up. When I was little, and we would go on a trip, my Mom would always get us in the car ready to go. Inevitably my Dad would need to do some repair to whatever vehicle we happened to be in; and, he would ruin a new shirt. Doesn’t matter where we were going, the repair had to be done before we left; like a break job once, and a whole new muffler on another. And he would always say it would only be a minute... Three hours later we would leave. I don’t remember if we got out of the car, but I know my Dad would be coated in grease!

My Dad also had the bad habit of being late for every party, birthday, holiday, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and important dinner. It didn’t matter, we would either eat a cold meal, or he would not eat with us. We got used it, and the four of us, (my mother and two older sisters and me) would eat by ourselves and my Dad would eat much later. It was also not his fault, he owned his own business, and the buck stops with him. We only ate if he had work so he worked hard.

Doesn’t matter what holiday it was, or what birthday or anniversary it was, my Dad thought that my mother would love a new piece of equipment. She got more tractors, four wheel drive things and toys than she could ever want. Did she like them? Well, let’s just say that the new Kabota tractor was really for my Dad and not for her.

Don’t get me wrong, he also did a lot of nice stuff for her too. Like he bought her a nice diamond ring their 25th anniversary. They have been on some fantastic trips. Like they went to Alaska, and they have been to Branson, Missouri. My parents have been married for sixty years, and in those sixty years I think it’s a miracle that my Dad has lived as long as he has without being killed by my mother. However, I do come from a home full of love and laughter.

Fast forward a few years to me. I got married five years ago. I was forty five years old. I thought that I might be immune to all the shenanigans that husbands like to pull on wives, but alas no, I was not spared.

My husband has a way that just says, I don’t know how to use technology. He’s very good with it in some ways, and in other ways, not so much. Case in point. I went to the store the other day. He called me on my cell phone, which I very graciously answered. We had our conversation. Then I was in my car getting ready to go home; and he FaceTimed me. Well he actually butt dialed me, and then not only did he not have the decency to talk to me, he hung up on me. He later said he also deleted me. Apparently he thought I was home and I “scared him,” all he saw was my face. Apparently my face is “scary."

Then there was the week of April Vacation where he did what I would have done, had I been home. He got cable in my room, and changed the cell phone carrier over to another one. And some other things that were “very stressful.” Women do them all the time. Some women do them with not only pets in tow, but children as well. Suck it up buttercup! Now he also went to Gloucester over the week and almost had a heart attack, because the house was all torn up. (By the way the house is just fine and very nice!), but I digress.

He has also had problems with his coffee maker, like he couldn’t turn it on. He needed me to do it. He has backed into someone while picking me up from work. There was a pedestrian on the sidewalk. I’m like once you make the commitment to go out onto the street people go behind you. They know. His car was not hurt nor the one he hit. It was just dumb.

So yes, there needs to be a manual for how to wrangle your husband. Like when he thinks you should like everything that he likes. Like sports for instance. Well if you like sports that’s great. I don’t happen to like sports, I watch sport like this. Morning news did they win or lose. OK I’m good. On with my day. Watching sports is kind of a waste of time for me. At least for me. If you like it, great. But I find it is a huge time waster.

This brings me to the picture of Bill, he was playing with my phone and thought I needed a selfie of him. Now he is pretty cute. And I love his hair, and his smile is really cute too! But really Bill, do I need a selfie of you on my phone? Apparently I need a longer “honey” do list.