Give Yourself the Chance of Being Alone
Loneliness is not always a bad thing
Some people can't handle loneliness and other people were meant to be alone. I am part of the second group of people. Don’t take me wrong, I have friends and I sincerely appreciate them, but I like to be lonely. Loneliness is not the bad guy as we were taught, it can actually help us to understand aspects of the problems we have and the struggles we face throughout our lives.
I have a sister that can’t bear the idea of being alone and for this reason; she is always putting herself in troubled relationships, whether is with a boyfriend or in the way she chooses her friendships. I have been to that place before when I thought that to be liked and accepted I had to give all the time without receiving anything in exchange. My tolerance and patient were endless even when I was hurt by things people were saying to me, and the way they behaved, or when I wanted to give a negative answer but instead, I said yes just to please those ones I considered my vital circle of friends.
It takes a long journey until you get to understand that nothing is essential if not necessary. The habit of surround ourselves by people that doesn’t contribute to our lives is the same of giving them the power to break us down, to inflict us with their frustrations, and yes, they only do that because we give them weapons.
We should never be afraid of living a life without expectations. Once we understand that, we will feel free to understand that strong people are most of the time alone, just because they won’t take what they shouldn’t from people who are not important, strong people dive deep into their inner world to be able to spread their wings in the external and so complicated world where we are all seen and judged by other eyes, when the only look we should be concerned about is the one we give to the image we see in our mirrors.
No one will praise or reward you for what you have given or offered in excess. The value we want them to see will not always be noticed, and the fact that our effort to show how nice we can be is ignored brings a lot of frustration. Our value starts with how we use the power we have to exist not only to live, and that can only be done if we take the necessary time to know our soul. Spending the whole time without gifting yourself with loneliness is like living without knowing your purpose, and you will just completely understand what life wants from you, if you lock yourself inside that secret room called silence and have an honest conversation with your own existence, asking all the questions you have always wanted to find the answers for, you will not be talking to emptiness, you will be having an encounter with the consciousness of who you really are.
Appreciate the feeling of being full of your own world, experiment your pains and work on them, know all of your demons and make peace with each one of them. If you always keep relationships with the only intention to not be alone you will never realize that your best company is you, and you alone.