Kelle C Rosa

Why can't a woman be single without meaning she is failing?

One of the definitions of self-esteem is self-respect. How can we respect ourselves if we are constantly accepting the leftovers of a relationship? Or if we think the tears and pain someone brings to our lives is excusable just to say that we are in a relationship? And I have been to this place so many times, where the little was enough as long as I could tell people I had somebody.

A few years ago during a visit to my grandmother's house, in another state, I met a guy who I thought would be my soul mate, I would not say love at first sight but there was something about him that got me. He looked so handsome wearing those dreadlocks. They made him look more interesting, free, a rebel compared to the other guys around. Although he did not live in the village, I was told he was a constant presence there because his father owned a farm somewhere nearby. After exchanging a brief glance we would only see each other again four months later. When I went back to visit my grandmother a party took place in the village on that exact day I arrived. The village named after joy itself, Alegre, was an incredible place, far from the city and full of beautiful things. As soon as we saw each other my heart beat so fast that I could barely breathe, but I greeted him anyway. We spent that night talking, finding out we had a lot in common. Is it strange if I say that I remember each word said during our conversation? I simply loved everything about him, his twisted smiles, his shyness, his sense of humor. I still consider our first kiss the best of my life, after that, none had the same magic. The way things happened just made me fall in love in such a spontaneous way that I only noticed how much I liked all that fuss when I got back to my hometown and could not find any blank spaces in my journal anymore to write how much I thought about him.

I was walking my dog when I noticed a car following me. I decided to stop at a corner and wait for what was about to come, would it be a kidnapping or a mugging? Both were very common in my neighborhood.

Some people can't handle loneliness and other people were meant to be alone. I am part of the second group of people. Don’t take me wrong, I have friends and I sincerely appreciate them, but I like to be lonely. Loneliness is not the bad guy as we were taught, it can actually help us to understand aspects of the problems we have and the struggles we face throughout our lives.