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The Non Scary Story

By Lena BaileyPublished 7 years ago Updated 2 years ago 3 min read

Almost everyone knows what ghosting is. If you don't know what it is, it's where people stop texting or calling. They just fall off the face of the planet with out explanation. It usually happens among people who are dating but it's incredibly annoying and frustrating. It also happens among friends too. I usually move on after a month of someone ghosting. I figure if you don't care to tell me what's going on, then you don't care. What? You got so busy and you couldn't tell me? And I'm supposed to wait for you? Nope, sorry, not buying it. Sometimes people do ghost deep into the relationship and it confuses the other person. I think if you ghost the other person has every right to move on and forget about you, especially if it's been a month or more. Now if you warn the person, "hey I'll be busy for awhile" it's not really ghosting, it's just life. If you do warn them it has to to lead to a conversation about what to do if you go a month or more without communication.

A friend of mine dealt with ghosting from a girl he really liked, when she texted him again she had moved on and he ended up calling her out in her shit. I was so proud of him for doing so. I think ghosting is childish, needs to stop. If you don't want to be with the person just tell them! Have the uncomfortable conversations, that's usually why ghosting starts. I think stories like my friend's story could be avoided if people were honest and said what they felt. Just saying that the initial attraction wore off or that you're just not interested would solve a lot of the ghosting issues.

With friends it can happen with a disagreement or when one friend feels like they've out grown the other. It can also happen with the friends with benefits if the benefits stop and other reasons.

What can we do? Well we can start by being polite and being honest! Like I said have the conversation that you don't want to have, like "I don't want to see you." If they ghost for over a month move on. Sometimes after a few weeks or months they come back and try to talk to you again. I've had a few guys who contacted me after I had already started seeing someone else. So I just politely tell them to keep it moving. There's no reason to ghost someone, it's not polite or mature.

Ghosting could also happen because people get busy and that's less childish but the nice thing to do would be to warn someone that you are busy. If you got busy or forgot it's understandable but it still sucks. Sometimes it's hard to understand why people would ghost. We may have all done it and not noticed or we've done it for what we thought was a good reason. A good reason to some people might be that they thought the other person was stupid.

I have ghosted because some guy wouldn't take the hint that he was a jerk or I wasn't interested in him. I also ghosted if I was already in a relationship and he wasn't taking the hint. I can't be with someone who is a jerk or I'm not interested in. Sometimes people ghost for the reasons I do or they just don't put in the work. If you don't want to put in work, don't date! Relationships are work and a lot of millennials don't want to work at relationships so they don't date. Some do date and mess it up because they don't know how to date. Ghosting is the easy way out. So please stop ghosting and just have the conversations that need to happen.


About the Creator

Lena Bailey

Georgia born writer. Specializing in dating and true crime

If you have any questions or comments please email [email protected]

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    Lena BaileyWritten by Lena Bailey

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