Five Reasons Why Emotional Pain Hurts

Emotional pain is any social situation that causes discomfort, uneasiness, or potential hazards resulting from relationships, friendships, or family situations. The emotional pain could be the result of a romantic breakup, the ending of a friendship, or severed family ties. All three of these situations have the ability to cause a great amount of pain and distress in one’s life. What makes it worse is how is one supposed to deal with this sudden pain? It is not easy and there is no easy road to move forward, but I believe the answers are ultimately in reflecting on the situation and taking the proper steps to move forward.

1) It Shapes You

Emotional pain is some of the most difficult pain one will ever go through. The myriad of feelings that are expressed are endless. One goes through stages of instability, grief, pain, numbness, sadness, and even hopelessness. It seems impossible to not think about what you could have done wrong to upset that person and these thoughts dominate the day more times than not. After a couple of weeks of this anxiety taking over one’s day, one may begin to wonder will this pain ever subside? The answer is yes, but one needs three ingredients to overcome the pain: (1) Friends, (2) Expression of emotions, and (3) Hope. Additionally, the pain shapes you because the only way to get through it is to deal with it head-on, and all its messiness and discomfort.

2) Friends can help to figure out the next steps

Talking through the pain of what happened with trusted friends is not only therapeutic, but it is necessary. Keeping all those emotions and feelings bottled up is hazardous to one’s health. One will likely run into sleep-related issues, as well as anxiety and depression. When going through emotional pain the symptoms do not only stay in the mind, but they also go to the body. Feeling it in places such as the chest, head, back, arms, and back. Emotional pain has an interesting way of telling our bodies that something is wrong. And if those signs are not adhered to, the symptoms will only become more aggressive. Again, talking the hurts over with friends is a natural remedy to unleash that raw emotion.

3) Expressing of emotions through positive outlets

This sounds partly like what I was discussing in the previous paragraph. However, regarding this section, that type of expression is not what I mean. Catharsis with a friend is certainly a great way to unleash emotion, but this type is more of an artistic expression. Whatever mode one chooses is okay, but there is something powerful about expressing emotions through writing, poetry, spoken word, art, acting, or even painting. The point is not to be an expert, but to allow this chosen method to guide your thoughts and how they are expressed. When one has been deeply hurt, they have to gain some power back in their life. There is no better way to gain that power back than by declaring yourself the author of the story to tell your part. The point of being the author is not to slander or defame the other person, but it is to set oneself free from the burden of shame and guilt that is felt.

4) Hope is the best gift

One of the most important aspects of the healing journey from emotional pain is the concept of hope. I am not talking about an unrealistic hope that is based on flimsy and unrealistic expectations, but a hope that is built on self-love. When one has been unexpectedly hit by an unforeseen breakup, the ending of a friendship, or just got through a bitter argument that will likely result in the ending of a relationship one needs to fall in love with themselves all over again. It can be wildly difficult because feelings of shame and guilt will dominate one’s consciousness, feeling like no relief is ahead. Because nothing can be done to change the other person’s mind, one must go to work on themselves. Find out your weaknesses and what your part was in the falling apart of the relationship. Find out what it is that you like to do, how you like to energize yourself, and how you like to have fun. What are your dreams and ambitions for your life? Find out whatever you can about yourself because you will thank yourself later. When you fully know yourself, you make the best decisions for yourself.

5) Avenues are opened that otherwise would not be

When going through very tough situations it forces a sense of growth that otherwise would have been unobtainable. I am not saying that going through emotional pain is fun or that it is ultimately a positive once we see the result of how it shaped us. No, emotional pain sucks. It hurts very much, and it does irreparable damage to our self-images. I would not wish emotional pain on my worst enemy the consequences are too personal, and they lead to too much hurt. However, the future lessons that the pain can teach are what should be gleaned from the situation. For instance, a greater sense of self-awareness will be adopted because one will be careful to not fall into the same traps again. Perhaps, the one area in your life that needed to be worked on finally received attention because you were forced not to ignore it. Once again, going through the pain is hurtful and I would never say that it is helpful, but learning to take that pain and direct it toward self-improvement is a necessary positive.