FINDING YOUR TRIBE/FRIENDSHIPS

You don't need to change who you are. find people who are able to give you the connection you need. It doesn't make you weak to allow others in. I have a hard time, but I am trying. Attempting to connect on a deeper level. There is a huge difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough. Sometimes the love you settle for and the love you deserve taints you. Sometimes people aren't who they claim to be. Sometimes their true colours come out later.  Sometimes it takes a while for your heart to find comfort in someone. Finding someone that you can click with so naturally.  People will try to manipulate you. Try to wear you down, take you down with them because of their own insecurities. Toxic people are everywhere, trying to suck the life out of you. My highschool days are far behind me. Drama is not my forté. Feeling like the tide is dragging me down. Just got to keep my head above the water. Keep pushing through. Keep putting my best foot forward. Think long and hard before I react. I don't play games .Far from fake .I will speak my mind despite the consequences. Don't underestimate me. That's your first mistake.Sometimes my silence can also speak louder than words can. I could be a bitch and take you down, but instead I'm taking the higher ground and I'm going to sit back and watch while you do it to yourself. That's my approach to toxic people. Instead I'm going to surround myself with those who see my potential, who encourage me to sparkle. Ones who aren't two faced and out for themselves. Real and Raw. Ones who will go the distance, walk beside me. Take my hand. Either you are by my side or you are in my fucking way. Not allowing anyone to take me down with them. I stand for what I believe in. Lucky for me I have people in my life who give a shit. Ones that I don't have to justify or prove my intentions. Ones that have taken notice on how far I have come and how much better I am for it. Ones who don't create drama or are self centered. Ones who don't manipulate. I am grateful for those friendships that stuck around throughout the ages. Those friendships that picked up right where they left off no matter how much time has past or distance between, to the ones I talk to everyday.

To those friends who still hate my ex-boyfriend(s) for being shitty towards me.

These friendships didn't whither from lack of communication or lack of trying.

Even as we go on with our seperate lives.

From sitting on the bathroom floor crying over a boy or when we relapse with an ex. The times when we drank too much and made poor decisions. Or was just so drunk we forgot the night. To those who reminded us but never judged. Driving by the boys houses we liked.

Spending the night so we wouldn't be alone.

Those friendships where we sat in silence on the phone both at our homes watching the same show.

From stealing shopping carts and pushing each other around town to sitting on the beach till the sun came up. To sneaking out, sharing cigarettes.

Driving lessons, road trips, to getting into the bars underage.

Ordering pizza with pennies.

Yes pennies. To singing off key and dancing around. Skipping school and everything in between. To those friends I still have in my adults years, to the ones I met most recently, No matter the time line each hold a special place in my heart.

From laughter to tears, secrets and fears.

We all need friends that lift us up. The ones that push us harder the ones that we can completely be ourselves with. No judgement. Through good days and the bad days from our bed head, full blown craziness to our worst. We need those in our lives to empower us to make us better people to stand by us, beside each other to lift our spirits when we are down, to call us in the middle of the night if they're having an issue to know that we're there for them anytime of the day and if you're lucky enough like I am to find these friends hold them close and never take them for granted. Embrace those who have seen you sparkle a little less, Ones that show up, ones that listen even when you haven't said a single word.

Uplifting, supportive, and comfortable enough to talk to about our sex lives and everything in between.

Sometimes we meet people who are meant to cross our paths , not all will remain in our lives forever but they teach us , show us something along the way that stays with us forever.