Finding My One and Only

by Alyssa Hoots 9 months ago in breakups

Learning from My Past Relationships

Finding My One and Only

When thinking about my past relationships that I have had, I think back to when I was in seventh grade. Assuming that I had found the one person that I could have a future with but was never possible. We had an on and off relationship for about six years. It wasn't until I was older that I knew it was a toxic relationship.

I have known him since my mother dated my sister's dad and was always around his side of the family. We hung out a lot when we were younger but never started dating until he came to the school where I attended. It was at the beginning of the year in seventh grade, and we started dating. Throughout that year we were dating on and off again, and he would go between me and an ex-friend of mine. It got to the point where I didn't want to see his face or be near him or even be in the same room. By the end of the school year, we never got back together until we were in eighth grade.

When we started eighth grade, we didn't start dating at the beginning. We talked to each other through the year but never talked about getting back together. It was close to Christmas break when we decided actually to try to date again. We were fine through the break and all the way up to my birthday where he took me to one of his family weddings. On our last day of school we were still dating, and through our summer break, we were still strong.

By our freshman year in high school, things got off on a rocky start. He was working on the farms in the area, but things were not like they used to be. We dated until after about four months into our freshman year where we decided to break up. After we had broken up, he decided to date my ex-friend once again, but I wasn't as upset like the last time he did date her again. Went the rest of our freshman year being friends and we talked every so often as well.

Going onto our sophomore year, we talked, and he started to date different and a lot less sane girls. One of the girls he dated she was quite the nutcase if you would say. Once they broke up, he decided to try to make things right with me, but I didn't want to go through with that at first. We stayed as friends throughout the rest of the year and through our summer break.

By our junior year in high school, we were still friends, and he started to date a girl who has bipolar disorder. She would be happy one second and then turn around and get mad in a split second for no reason whatsoever. During our lunch breaks, he would tell our other friends and me that she was a beluga whale. After a while of dating his girlfriend who has bipolar disorder, he broke it off with her. He then decided to date another crazy girl but only for a while because he couldn't handle all the stress. Before our prom that we were in charge of decorating for we started to date again but only for a little while.

Getting into our senior year of high school we were friends, but he decided to date the other crazy girls that he had previously dated before in which he knew what he was getting into. He broke it off with them for good I thought until he started to date the girl with bipolar disorder. Before our last prom we had he broke it off with her and asked me out again. In the meantime of that, he had already asked her if she wanted to go to prom with him and he also asked me and told me that he was already taking her as well as me. By the time our prom came around his ex at the time and me as well decided to walk in together and then we sat down to wait to hear who got queen and king. She was sitting with her friends while I and he sat together away from her. After they crowned king and queen, we went into another room where we were dancing and hanging out and talking, and that is when she just lost it all. She got upset and was very angry at him about being with me and just went off on him. Then she called her friend for her to pick her up from the high school and her friend decided to off on him as well. By the end of the night, we were getting ready to leave, and he had his truck parked towards the back of the school and he then just pushed me up against the lockers and just started making out with me. Through the rest of the school year, we were fine on the dating aspect, and we never had any issues.

After we graduated high school, he invited me to do some civil war reenactments with a group that he was in. By the time the second reenactment that I did he wasn't able to go since he was working for a farmer, so he said that it was okay for me to go. After we came back home from the reenactment, it was close to the fourth of July, and I wanted to spend time with my family before I was to go to boot camp for the Navy. He got upset because I didn't want to go and hang out with him and got angry about it. After that had happened, we broke it off and was upset about it and started texting my mother and me some angry messages and I just blew it off because I knew he was going to get with someone else. About a week before I was off to boot camp went to my friends who were in the reenactment and just wanted to hang out with them for a little while and ride horses. My ex decided to show up as well as with one of his crazy girlfriends who he had dated before. Not once since being there at their house never gave me a look in which I found it funny. I didn't care about how he acted or anything and just thought that it was funny.

By the time I graduated boot camp and went to Florida for my "A" school we started talking again. I didn't want to start anything with him just yet because I didn't know how he would handle me being in the military. After I had finished my "A" school we never talked much after that. As I got to my first command duty station it was until about a year into there we started to talk more.

About August of 2014, he had decided to propose to me when I came home for family reunion. It was about when we were getting ready for a Christmas break when my mom was telling me that one of her coworkers had seen him with another girl. It is tough to know who I am with and who he is and she said who he was and described him to a straight point of what he looks like. I texted him about it, and he was saying that he had forgotten to tell me about it, but I didn't believe him whatsoever. He then got angry at me because I was posting on Facebook, but I never replied to his text that he had sent to me. I was on my way to my uncles who lives in North Carolina, and that is when he just blew up about the issue. I broke it off with him because I was tired of the problems that he had with me not believing in him. I was already getting tired of him at first because he wanted to know who I was with at all times. After I broke it off with him, he had the curiosity to ask for the ring back, but I never gave it back to him but pawned it.

After seven months of us being apart, he decided to start dating again and at that point, I didn't think he never cared about our relationship in the beginning. Soon after that he was engaged to her then months later he was married and had a kid on the way as well after knowing all of this I just wanted him out of my life and didn't want to be with him anymore or even hear from him either.

My fiance now is just the complete opposite of my ex-fiance and I am glad about that. I am happy that I am out of that relationship with my ex, and I don't have to deal with it anymore. I have moved on from my past and want to look forward and be successful in my future.

How does it work?
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