F*ck Expectations

Expectations are an essential part of life. You have expectations in your professional and personal life. All of which is okay! We need to have expectations in order to have a healthy life. We go through life encountering all kinds of people in all kinds of situations. And while that can be beautiful and enriching, it can also be shitty. People aren't all good. People are sometimes terrible. I had to learn that over the course of my life. I used to think that everyone was inherently good and trustworthy. I used to think that everyone was a friend and we should all love each other. I had to learn that the hard way. 1 abusive relationship later I'm now realizing that it isn't the case. Not everyone is your friend and while some people are lovely and could have a potentially life changing impact on you; we all can't be friends. We're all created differently.

I've learned that having boundaries and expectations for friendship and relationships is essential. We have to have standards for who we let into our lives. If we let shitty people in our lives we're going to constantly be hurt. However if we constantly let good people in our lives we'll be much happier. Have high standards for friendships and relationships. Don't settle for less then you deserve. This may mean keeping your circles small at times but it could be necessary. Sometimes it's better to have a few really good friends instead of a bunch of shitty ones. Frankly that's what I'd prefer.

Here's where it gets tricky, we sometimes expect people to be EXACTLY like us and think like us. That's not realistic. People can be extremely similar in a lot of ways and that's beautiful. But no two people are exactly alike. What do we do? Well we have to accept that everyone has differences and how that's beautiful. We may not get along with everyone we meet and that's okay! We can't expect everyone to think like us because we've all been raised differently and taught different beliefs. So expecting someone to be exactly like you isn't realistic like I said.

What are some expectations you can have? Well you can expect to have trust in a relationship and have everything you say held confidential. You can expect to have morals in a relationship. But you also can't expect people to be perfect. People fuck up sometimes. We're all human, we make mistakes sometimes. I think sometimes we expect those around us to be perfect and not mess up and hurt us. That's not realistic either.

We have to hold space for that. Now I'm not saying someone who fucks up constantly is worthy of your time. But we do mess up occassionally and that's perfectly natural. Nobodies perfect. Does this mean we automatically don't trust someone who messes up once in a while? No of course not! It means that we accept it and understand that we've all messed up and done things we aren't proud of.

So what's the point of this? Expectations while essential and a great boundary to have in life. We also have to understand that not everyone can meet those expectations. And we need to accept that people aren't going to fulfill 100% of our expectations and that's fine! We need to hold space for that. It's great to have boundaries and standards in life. In fact I'd recommend it. But if we constantly expect everyone to meet all of our expectations we're all going to be very disapointed. We need to have some grace.