Open letter to anyone whose struggled with Alcohol abuse

Trigger Warning: If reading about Alcohol abuse or suicide ideation makes you uncomfortable don't read this post.

I struggled with a drinking problem at the age of 14 after a sexual assualt. (I'll post about that later on) but I drank everyday and all day. I didn't sleep a year and a half. I was trying to drink myself to death. I'm glad I didn't die though. I keep telling my story in order to help others. I want to be a voice for others that have been through similar things. So to anyone whose had a drinking problem: You're not alone. And you do matter. Also to anyone whose been sexually assaulted: You're not alone and you are believed and there is help out there.

Why'd I get sober? Because If I didn't I'd die. I realized after a talk with a good friend of mine that while what happened to me was awful and I didn't deserve it, drinking myself to death was not the answer. I was in a lot of pain and I turned to alcohol and coffee to numb the pain. (Secret it only made it worse)

I went to therapy and got help. I was put on medication and here I am 13 years later sober and healthy. I'm proud of my sobriety and I thank God everyday I'm still alive because I know if I hadn't gotten sober I wouldn't be. I'd like this story to help someone. I'd like to tell anyone that may be struggling with alcohol: You are not alone. I'm sorry that you were in so much pain that you felt like you had to drink. I'm sorry that you felt so alone. I'm sorry that you felt like that was the only solution. I'm sorry that you felt so numb that you felt like you needed alcohol to make yourself feel.

I can only tell you that you're not alone. I can only tell you that there is help out there. I can only tell you that the choice to get sober is entirely your own. I can only tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can only tell you that you'll be okay. I can only tell you that there is support out there should you choose it. I can only tell you that the days without alcohol are a bit brighter. I can only tell you that life is much better without alcohol. I can only tell you that you won't regret your choice to get sober if that's what you choose.

You have a great life ahead of you. You deserve to live it, not in pain. I'm not going to tell you what's going to happen because I don't know. I don't know how your life is going to turn out. I can only tell you that it does get better without alcohol. Now I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that the withdrawl symptoms will be hard to deal with. I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that you'll most definitley have cravings and you might relapse but it's all worth it in the end.

I think the million dollar question is: have I relapsed? No i haven't. I'm shocked I didn't. But I certainly had cravings and did miss it sometimes.

I did have moments where I wanted a drink so badly but I didn't drink. I'm glad I didn't though. I get sick if I even drink soda. So I cannot imagine how sick I'd get if I drank alcohol.

So in closing: You're not alone. You're worth it.