Everybody Wants Something

Page 1,945, that’s where he told me to begin reading the book. It was Jeonjib by Cho and the page was marked by the poem, “The Song of Life.” Once you begin reading the poem, you'll soon realize it’s not Cho, rather instructions for escape. You’ll find the book on the shelf with the others, brother. I told no one and I’m asking that you do the same.

I know that you have come to understand the same as I, and I realize that I’m asking the impossible of you. However, I need you to be strong- we are under continual threat, if not from war, then simply from what we know. I promise you, it is only a matter of time before you are under suspect. You can only question the regime so much before they take notice.

Hey J, My phone broke again-bleh. You can message me here, though. I’m trying to study so I really needed my phone- sucks but I’ll be here at the computer for the rest of the day. Unless I go get a frappe :)

You will go to work without causing suspicion; it is very important that you do not give anyone reason to take notice of you. Take with you the Cho book and a compass. You will say you need to stop by the market on the way home and will head directly to the fish market in Yesong-Jae. Purchase a salmon and have it filleted and wrapped. When you are given the fish, smile at the tender and wish him a good day; cause no reason for question. Once you are finished, turn from the front of the store and begin walking directly north. There is a waste tunnel that can be accessed without being seen - the instructions in the book will show you where - you are to get in and crawl about a quarter of a kilometer until you see the mark that I have left for you. You will be near the river. Once there, you will wait.

If you are caught along the way at any point by military, tell them you wanted to read poetry by the shore and show them the Cho book; they will be suspicious if you wait for them to search your bag. Also, if anyone asks where I am, you tell them I am ill. I’m sure that mother and father have not reported since it’s only been a day. Mother and father have no idea. I imagine at this point they have not accepted that I have defected.

Oh gawd, Mr. Delaney is on his kick again :) He’s making us watch a documentary about North Korean refuges. They are so effing weird over there. They like think their leader is Jesus or something, lol.

Oh, yeah, obviously my phone is back! yay.

Brother, you must understand that I know how you feel right now. Do not think that we are different, you and I. I have shed so many tears in secret, knowing that I could not share what I feel with our parents or any of our friends. However, you must know that everyone suspects the Great Leader Kim Jong-un will react to the threats of President Trump rashly. We are all scared and fear war. It is not something that is solely between us, either. I’m certain that everyone fears but pretends otherwise. You see, I believe everyone is aware of the state we live but acts contrary out of fear. Soon, though, I think this will change. Unfortunately, I feel that this change will be awakened out of bloodshed.

See, just two days before I left, I was at the crossing in Songwa making a delivery and sat at a bench to rest. There was a middle-aged man who was sitting and just staring at the government building there. I sat, wishing him a good day and he just said, “The weather is changing.” I was confused because it’s been cloudy, humid and no forcasted change. I looked at him and saw that he was staring at me with the most serious face. We stared at each other for some time as I realized that he was not referring to the weather. He’s not the only one that has hinted to me an understanding of the truth of our government. I feel that citizens are being drawn to me as one who is beginning to understand. Either that, or I am just now seeing the signs that our comrades post in hopes of someone noticing.

We’ve praised our Great Leader for his superior diplomacy and military tact in so many instances, but I feel that we may have been mislead. We have worked together to maintain our communist ways, but I fear we’ve been decieved about the rest of the world. There’s so much I want to say to you but don’t know how to express it. I beg you, please do not reject my plea! Of course this will be dangerous, but staying here may soon lead to our death- meaningless deaths! I want to know better, and I want my life to mean something!

OMG! Guess who’s upgrading to the new iPhone? Jealous much?

I also want to assure you that we are not alone. There is a mass revolution taking place. Other comrades in the North are linking and communicating in private- some are even military! We are part of something much bigger than just you and I. I believe we will look back and be proud of what we helped accomplish. If we all were free to speak and question the regime, I believe our communist ways would be strengthened, rather than defeated.

I believe mother and father will understand this.

I fear death, but I am not a coward. What I fear is death without meaning. I do not leave Choson out of shame or fear, rather to return with great knowledge to strengthen our people! I wish for you to join me, brother.

Yeah, J, I know how you feel, but I still like Trump. I still think he tells it like it is and isn’t afraid to call out anyone. Dad thinks we’re going to end up dropping a bomb on Kim Jung-whatever, so I don’t really see the point in watching another documentary about it. BTW I have a new record on pintrest subscribers!

While you are waiting in the waste tunnel, you can eat some of the salmon. However, please save some as we will both be eating and it will be some time before we will eat again.

It will be likely two hours after nightfall before you will act. You will hear someone whistling that song that we used to sing as we walked to school. When you hear it, begin whistling your part of the song. Once I hear it, I will come to you and let you out. Do not be alarmed as I will be wearing a military uniform; please know that I have harmed no one and will explain when we meet. Do not make a sound or whistle for anything other than what I have told you.

After I release you, we will have to work quickly. There is a boat hidden under a large pile of leaves. We will uncover it and drag it to the river. We’ll paddle to the center and make our way out to the Yellow Sea. We should hope and pray for rain as the mist on the water will shield our departure in the dark. It will likely take us three days or more to paddle to Ongjin-Gun (you remember, from the textbooks). Fortunately, I have been told there is drinking water in the boat.

Do not be alarmed, but I will be carrying a rifle.

Ok, J. I got to get out of here. Austin isn’t returning my messages and I don’t know why and I’m stuck here watching this boring-a documentary about crazy people. This is hell. I want to kill myself. x0x

I am told that there is a place in Ongjin-Gun that will provide us a meal. We are simply to ask the doc workers for “Liberty.” They will take us to the refugee program and from there we will be relocated. I know this is all coming fast, but you must trust me. We will not be staying in South Korea, it is too difficult for us to work with our skill level and experience. I have heard that of the hundreds (yes, hundreds) that have defected to the South, few are finding work and assimilating (this means “finding your place” in society). I am hopeful that we can be resettled in the United States.

I am certain at this point that you are both nervous and repulsed at the prospect of defecting the greatest enemy of our beloved state. However, you must understand that Americans are not the big-nosed devils we were told they are. They are actually kind and open to refugees. They call it “the land of opportunity.” Brother, I hear it is beautiful! There are large buildings everywhere and everyone has their own computers and phones! People are not selfish and mean, as we were told, they are selfless and love foreigners. There are even multiple religions and everyone respects them all. They have two political parties instead of one, so they can work together to see the desires of the people more objectively (“objectively” means considering all the sides of something). Surely they will see the skills we have to offer and allow us to work and live in their strong country. We will work and be safe there, I am sure of it!

Ah, here it is. The end of the class and Mr. Delaney is guilting us. He wants money or something for refugees. Everybody wants something. My phone’s about to die- you never said, are we getting frappes later?

You must understand, Yeong, the risk that I’m taking contacting you. I can only mimic a patrol officer for maybe a couple more nights before I am discovered. If this occurs, they will imprison me, shame my name, beat me, and likely kill me. Still, I take this chance because I believe you feel the same way as I. I do this because I expect to see you soon and have you with me when I leave.

Also, please understand that I do not do this out of selfishness, rather the opposite. I feel that by living free and having the experience that is offered in the U.S., we will be able to return to Changyon and show that what we’ve been learning is flawed. We could even influence all of North Korea! I can think of nothing more noble and meaningful to do with lives. It is not selfish and we are not running, we are providing meaning!

You should also understand that I will not hesitate to use the rifle if I need to. I love our comrades and I understand that they will only do what they feel is necessary. But, they are mistaken in their duty and must be showned otherwise. Let us hope that we have no encounters as we travel.

It all depends on you now, Yeong. I will patrol tonight and tomorrow, expecting to see you. Please do not disown me. If you tell anyone, it will likely mean my death. I hope to see you soon.

So bored, J.

Mom did give me fitty bucks, though. Frappes and Facebook?