Empathizing With The Enemy

The beginning of my shadow work journey started with a heavy hitter. The first challenge was to write a message to the person who hurt you the most and explain why you said what you said. I actually had a harder time than I expected on that part alone. Until I reached the second challenge, create a visual of how I see myself (which I did on my phone). After some thorough self evaluation around my own self image, as well as concluding who’d honestly hurt me the most and the reason why what they’d done hurt me to the extent that it did, I was able to come to this ultimate conclusion: We should all take the effort to empathize with our enemies before internalizing what made them an enemy, so then us as people can can have an easier time dealing with our own faults and forgiving ourselves for past mistakes. I was personally able to see comparison in areas where I felt I lack and how that affected my interactions, next to the actions of my said “enemies”. I could see where the behavior possibly rooted from. However I’m no psychologist, merely an observer and an analyst

Empathy is a very important and natural human emotion.If you don’t utilize it, you may not be reading situations correctly and you can leave yourself with entirely too much stress and anxiety surrounding your interactions whether good or bad. For half of my life, I was keeping myself from having the number of healthy relationships I could by simply internalizing every situation and taking things personally that were simply not my fault. Having offered myself a few different perspectives recently, I’ve been able to see that there are two sides to every coin and you do yourself a disservice by not flipping it before you end up flipping out. Using your ability to understand will open your mind to a more compassionate approach when dealing with any hostile situation, and allow for you to walk away from situations with the least amount of stress possible. Remember we are empathizing with the enemy for the sake of YOUR mind.

The second challenge was a self-evaluation through an exercise that I think everyone should do. I was asked to make a visual of how I see myself, and while doing this I noticed things I do naturally out of habit or comfortability that may be rubbing people the wrong way. I made a visual of myself alone sitting on a rooftop built as a part of an entire house of ideas…in a weed forest. Now to most people, this would be no big deal, however, when thinking further into it I’ve found myself in situations of conflict with people just based on the fact that I prefer to spend most of my time alone. I’ve found that some people interpret that as me acting stuck up or being standoff-ish when in actuality, I’m just extremely sensitive to my surroundings. This is something I know about myself seeing as I’ve dealt with this sensitivity for 22 years and counting. But I have to remind myself not everyone was on that 22-year-long journey called my life, that’s a bus ride exclusive to me alone.

I find I’m truly at my best when I can be alone, in my zone, with a spliff, just tapping into my creativity. Only people who have had the same experience or have the gift of empathy would be able to respect my choice of spending the most time in solitude. On the other hand, those with a more immature mindset will only see it as an attack on their likeability when that’s not even a factor in my decision to be alone. Using that ability to see many perspectives will lead you to see how you’re less of a victim of judgment, as opposed to a victim of circumstance (if a victim at all).

Here’s a simple challenge I’ve come up with as a way to tap into your empathetic abilities. Think of three different situations where you did something that was good or beneficial for you that wasn’t received very well by another person. Write them down and feel free to share them in my comments or on your own platform.

There’s an ancient Mayan saying that I use to remind myself there is power behind using my empathy, especially in times where I want to react instead of respond. “In Lak’Ech Ala’Kin”. I am another you, you are another me. Seeing both sides of the coin or putting yourself in an enemy’s shoes isn’t as easy as it sounds. Just be patient with yourself and practice small waves of empathy with situations you may feel slighted in but feel you have more control over. So then maybe you’ll be able to deal with yourself and your reactions to situations a little easier.