Does a person only love another person because they have "use value"?

In today's society, the nature of interactions is all about satisfying the needs of the ego, and interactions between people are maintained by the relationship of interest.

Recently, a visitor mentioned his recent situation. He said, "I always thought that women are more realistic than men because they seem to value the benefits of material things more. But recently I've been in contact with a lot of blind dates, and I realized that it's the men who are realistic."

This also confirms what many people say, in an intimate relationship, men are more realistic than women.

On the one hand, because of the pressure of realistic material conditions, on the other hand, because of the rational characteristics of men caused by.

Some people say that women's reality is momentary, they want their partners to have a certain economic base, but more hope that the other party is a potential stock.

What men seek, however, is a stable and long-lasting reality. They prefer to choose a woman who is more balanced and mature in all aspects of performance as their partner.

For example, whether the other party can be a good wife, can take care of their parents, can raise children, and can come home to a hot meal ......

All human beings have realistic psychology, and this has nothing to do with gender. Each of us will only choose to continue the relationship because the other person is beneficial to us, and only then will we choose to further deepen the relationship.

People will only "love" each other because they have value to use.

People often say that marriage needs to be a good match, in ancient times the match was economic and academic, but now the match has been further upgraded - what can you bring to me?

Whether it's friendship, love, or even affection, it's all based on "value".

If you can't provide support and help when the other person needs you, then friendship has no meaning. Even if two people have a friendly relationship for a certain period, it is difficult to provide each other with the value of friendship, and it is difficult to last.

In a love relationship, once one party has difficulty meeting the needs of the other party, such as care, pampering, care, etc., then the relationship is destined to be out of balance. Even many relationships that are scorned by the world are maintained by monetary interests.

As for affection, many people will probably retort that blood ties are the greatest value. In reality, this is not the case.

From a biological point of view, a newborn baby does not have an innate deep bond with its parents.

The reason relatives are bonded is because they are constantly giving during the high frequency of their relationship.

The concept of "giving" is also a good interpretation of "interest".

But such interest is not the traditional sense of material significance, more of a spiritual value. It is not blood that determines the closeness of the relationship, but emotion.

Why do family members have extraordinary affection for each other?

Because what they give to each other exceeds the threshold of a normal relationship, that is why there is an emotional tie.

Psychologically speaking, the more an individual gives to another, the deeper his or her feelings for the person he or she is investing in will be.

That is, in the course of all our social relations, especially in the case of affection, each payment is an emotional investment, and the more this investment is made, the deeper the feelings of the investing subject for the object being invested.

But the difference between affection and other social relationships is that the vast majority of affection giving is voluntary and does not ask for any return. In kinship relationships, giving is a habitual behavior that is the result of the subconscious operation.

Would you say that there is any return on this emotional investment between relatives?

Of course, there is, otherwise there wouldn't be such words as "unworthy children" and "wolves with white eyes".

Not every relationship is equal in value, but it is undeniable that any relationship is because the other party can create value for themselves and bring benefits, so they will choose to continue.

Such value and benefits are not necessarily materialistic, the closer the relationship, the higher the purity of the "value" required of the other party.

So, in the end, how to improve the value of self, is a question worth thinking about.

On this issue, we must be clear that self-worth and "pleasing" and "catering" are completely different concepts.

Self-worth focuses on the improvement of the inner self, what value you can create for yourself and what value you can bring to others.

Encourage your self-esteem, but do not advocate that you lower your self-standards, to cater to please others!

Of course, any relationship needs to be balanced, if there is a serious imbalance, you should not rush to think about self-improvement, stop in time, and pull out of the mire.

"Equivalence" is a concept of economics, but any social relationship, and does not belong to the economy of a kind.

So, I hope you can continue to push the limits and become a "value supergroup" of people.

Not for the continuation of the relationship, only for their own can live better and strive.