Do Some People Prefer To Be Unhappy?

Personally, I don’t think they ‘prefer’ to be unhappy.They just don’t know how to be happy, or they believe they do not ‘deserve’ to be happy, and so find it difficult to make changes for the better. In fact, remaining unhappy saves them from extra anxiety, or having to please anyone else by complying with their expectations.

Unhappiness comes from low self esteem, a lack of confidence, and, above all, a lack of self-belief. Someone who firmly believes they cannot do certain things will not seek situations that can remedy that perception. They will find it difficult to do because their self-belief, and the negative way they view themselves, will merely confirm what they perceive. However, prolonged unhappiness. has a definite root cause which is maintained by the quality of our thoughts.

People who are unhappy tend to be dominated by a combination of imagination and fear: the most lethal combination in our lives, because it lacks information, knowledge and experience. In a nutshell, we cannot perform something we would like if our imagination won’t let us do it. If we have fearful images about its impact, we won't do it. No matter how determined we are, if our imagination is uncomfortable with it, we will become fearful and our willpower will lose out.

Our imagination is the most powerful force within us, far more powerful than anything in reality. It is responsible for three main things:

• Providing a vision of our future and fulfilling the aspirations we have;
• Storing memories of our past; and
• Acting as a coping mechanism to help us deal with our fears.

Unhappy people are stuck on the third function, while being unable to activate the first. In other words, our imagination lies behind the creation of our world and everything we have ever desired. We think it, we imagine it, visualise it in our mind's eye and, hey presto!, our willpower brings it into being.

We can never escape our thoughts. Yet, it is by playing out scenarios in our heads which threaten or give us discomfort, seeing them visually, and even exaggerating their effects (especially when we are fearful), that we are gradually able to make sense of such situations and to disarm their power over us. Our imagination helps us to provide solutions to challenging problems, to imagine the kind of ideal situations we seek and to act upon them. This function of protecting us can also inhibit what we achieve in life because our imagination will instil fear through gross exaggeration of the negative consequences of our actions rather than propel us towards the winner's post. Hence why unhappy people tend to remain unhappy, while positive people are likely to remain positive, too.

For anyone feeling frustrated with their life, feeling unhappy, fearful and disinclined, it could be because they are not using their imagination much, perhaps refusing to see the dream they want inside their head and to nurture its development. Or they could be exaggerating their fears and the future consequences of their desires. In essence, they would be afraid to use their imagination in its most creative way; afraid to dream or let their desires have full rein, which only keeps them stuck in gloom, regret and negativity.

In answer to the question, people who are unhappy cannot make any ‘small change’ to their lives, because they have only fear and negativity as companions, instead of any creative vision. It would be difficult for them to envisage a happier existence unless they are not only shown an alternative way of thinking, but readily accept it as well!

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