Curtis

I saw myself in him. Standing at the counter of the bar, trying to order fries, mumbling incoherently to himself. He didn't look very old, if I had to guess I'd say mid to late 30's. The waitstaff were murmuring amongst themselves, asking if he was okay. If they needed to get him out of there. I took that moment to speak up, I asked the man if he would like to sit with me and I paid for his fries. I hadn't even meant to go to the Burger Stand and in my mania state of mind, I took his presence as a sign I was meant to be there.

His name was Curtis, and as we sat at the table he told me all about how we were evolving and we could have God powers if we just believed. He told me I looked like Sara Gilbert and during the course of our evening together he called me Sara and told me he loved my show, he watched it everyday.

He rambled about how when he was alive 300 years ago, he was an assassin for God, or was it the devil? He seemed a bit confused about whose behalf he was committing murders. But he didn't scare me, he wasn't trying to, he spoke rambling tales of friendships with celebrities and the universal law of love. How we're all a part of the collective consciousness and how none of us would die. He spoke of a man named David and Jonathan, I never learned exactly who they were. Maybe the voices in his head? He clearly had many. And spoke freely aloud with them.

At one point he apologized for talking so much but elaborated that it got too overwhelming to keep it all in his head. I could relate to that more than I would have liked to admit. He mentioned that he had lost his blanket and I knew the night would be cold. He didn't have a home, his shoes were threadbare, as were his pants, the belt tried it's hardest but couldn't keep them from sliding down. I offered to buy him a blanket from Walmart and when he asked to come, I said yes.

We walked to my car, a couple of blocks and his rambling continued, he asked about my dad and if he was native, italian or something mixed, still thinking I was Sara and I just smiled politely and waved it off. We got to my car and drove away after I cleared the seat of my clutter. He was polite and amiable, but he did smell as if he didn't know when he had showered last, and chances were he didn't.

We drove the 15 minutes to Walmart, him rambling the whole way, he asked if we could stop for cigarettes and I obliged him. He didn't have an ID, so I purchased him a pack of Newports (red, his favorite), while he waited in the car. I did take the keys, just in case Curtis wasn't the kind, yet mentally ill, man I had mentally painted him to be.

After leaving the store, and finding Curtis still waiting patiently in the car, I felt the temperature dropping and gave him my coat. I know he needed it more than I did. Me with a roof over my head and a warm bed to go home to each night. He was extremely grateful and had a wonderfully contagious smile.

He kept going on about how happy he was and what a beautiful day it had become. He pointed out all of the 8's he saw, calling them the infinity symbol and telling me how they meant love. Love is infinity. Hate is 0. He told me he loved me more than once. "True love, that's what power is, true love. We just have to love each other." You're not wrong Curtis, but I wish you could get help.

He told me we all had God powers if we only believed it enough and he had once turned the sky from blue to turquoise. He then attempted to demonstrate by drawing clouds in the sky, excitedly pointing out the ones he had personally added. I didn't have the heart to tell him they were there all along.

It wasn't until we arrived at Walmart and I checked my phone and saw missed messages from my partner that my common sense kicked in. I had a moment of realization that maybe this wasn't the best idea I'd ever had and I could be putting myself in danger. Oh well. Too late now, I thought to myself. The adventure continued.

We went into Walmart, both wearing masks. He didn't stop rambling and talking to himself even amongst all of the other shoppers. I started to worry then, that security would be called, that we would be sent away, empty handed. But they didn't bother us and we didn't bother anyone. He stopped in the aisle completely fixated and mesmerized by the brightly colored Scooby-Doo print pajama pants. I knew in his mind's eye, they were dancing and more than likely speaking to him. With some gentle prodding I convinced him to keep focused on the task at hand.

The first 2 items we picked up were socks and shoe laces. I bought him an 8 pack of reebok socks and a brown pair of laces. He put them both on before they were paid for but was very worried about the implications. So I left him briefly to take care of that lest he got upset.

When I returned to the shoe aisle where I had left him, he was struggling to lace his boots so I sat on the floor with one and showed him how while he worked on the other. We made quick work of that project and headed to our next destination, a belt. Which he desperately needed as I noticed him stand with his entire ass hanging out.

I hurriedly but gently told him to pull up his pants as we headed to the men's wear section. We looked at a couple of belts, wrapping them around his waist to see what the best fit would be. We settled on a size 36. He had a healthy build, I didn't get the indication that he was currently on drugs, but it's hard to tell.

He asked me if I could take him to the shelter. The only one in town was just 10 minutes away. I called and of course it was full. No room for Curtis tonight. I called 211 as well but the only other shelter was for women and children and physically he was neither. That was the first and only time I saw Curtis go from happy to angry and I can't blame him.

We had one last section to explore, blankets. I headed to home goods, found him a pillow and then to the blanket aisle. Curtis asked if we could get a sleeping bag, which was a much more practical choice and I said of course. A slight change in course and we were in the camping section of the store.

I asked if he wanted a backpack as well, to keep his socks and pillow in but he said no, he didn't need one. Until he saw one that he did like, but the price tag was too much for my wallet and he didn't want a $20 bag. So no backpack, but we did find him just the right sleeping bag for the night.

A pretty green bag, big and tall, heat rated for 40 degrees. The one I had in mind was rated for 30 but this was the one Curtis wanted and so it was the one we got. Our goods in hand, we headed for the checkout and left the store without incident.

We drove the 15 minutes back to the Burger Stand and said our goodbyes. He called me Sara and asked when he would see me again. "I don't know, Curtis. Maybe you'll see me around." "Will I see you tomorrow?" "No, not tomorrow." "The day after?" "Yeah, maybe the day after." I gave him a hug. It felt right after he had shared so much with me, even if it was all madness.

Not enough people look after the most vulnerable among us. Those so mentally broken, with such a disconnect from reality, those unhoused who couldn't get a job if their lives depended on it. Society calls them burdens, I call them friends. And my fear is one day, you'll call me them.