Contempt and Envy two strange brothers

Today's topic has been running through my thoughts repeatedly over the past week, particularly regarding interactions between different people. I've noticed a harsh reality: when someone envies another person, their main weapon becomes demeaning that other person. There are few who can honestly look at themselves and admit that they do this.

In itself, it's not that unusual; people do envy others, and to alleviate their bad feelings, they start thinking even worse of the person they envy. But is it really essential to be better than someone else? Especially in terms of vague parameters, just based on their own inner feelings.

Psychology distinguishes between "good envy" or competitive envy, which helps athletes achieve better results (based on concrete parameters like stopwatch seconds, tape measure marks, or bullseye rings with clear values, where the higher the better). On the other extreme is the envy that arises in people who wish to live someone else's life or simply desire something different from what they currently have.

Maybe I'm too naive or idealistic, but I don't understand the value of envying someone else's "better" life and simultaneously belittling that same person. After all, it doesn't improve their own life. On an energetic level, they create an even denser atmosphere around them, making their own situation worse as well. Of course, the belittler can create a situation where their envy target is directly affected by their remarks and irony. This, however, leads to a situation where the person starts considering themselves bad, worthless, and somehow broken. Instead of creating, two lives are destroyed. The belittler's own life, because they refuse to improve it, and the person being envied, because their self-confidence is shattered, and they no longer trust themselves enough to just be.

Moreover, the "superiority" being envied is merely what the bystander observes, i.e., the external aspect. What the person had to go through to achieve that, and what obstacles they face daily to maintain it, often go unnoticed and are even disregarded. The envious person only craves external brilliance.

I've been witnessing a tragedy for quite some time, where a highly competent person in their work manages to create an atmosphere where colleagues leave. Friends must constantly tiptoe, waiting for the next jab and hoping it won't be fatal. I respect this person, for their ability to do things that I wouldn't even attempt, for the fate they've lived, and for what they have accomplished in their life. Many others would have "thrown in the towel" long ago. But I can't bear to watch how they talk about their friends, colleagues, and acquaintances—something so terribly false and hurtful that it makes me want to confront them physically. Especially when they target people who have become more important to me than just coworkers.

Fortunately, I have enough education and knowledge of human psychology to find slightly different tools. I genuinely feel sorry for the people whose self-esteem they have managed to diminish, and now, at every joke or even question, they are the first to perceive an attack. These are incredibly strong personalities, though 🙂

By the end of this monologue, it should be said that no, I haven't lost my vigilance 🙂 I know too well just the formula: Listen to how someone talks about their friends to you, and you can be sure they talk about you the same way, if not worse. Therefore, I need to be controlled and be 110% present in my words and actions. As my great-grandmother used to say, "Dear child, you can't change the world, but make sure your deeds and words are in line with the TRUTH."

But to be truthful, who among us doesn't have our quirks and flaws? I certainly have plenty 🙂 and I've come to understand and accept them. Only in this way can we keep our darker side under control so we can use it when necessary.

For the end, a strong plea, that we can withstand when envious people come into our lives and we have to fight against liars.

God, give me strength to fulfill all my plans and regret nothing and lend me resilience against envy and falsehood.