Considering a Long-Distance Relationship? Ask Yourself These 5 Questions

While some people believe that you can just go with it as long as you ‘love’ each other, unfortunately when it comes to relationships especially a long-distance one, you need more things to consider.

Considering it before you jump in 100% is crucial. I wish I did this 4 years ago before my partner and I decided to do a long-distance with the freaking 14hrs timezone difference.

God, I’m exhausted already thinking of all the crazy things that happened during those 4 years.

Not saying I wouldn’t have done it though, it’s still one of the best experiences I’ve had in my whole life. However, now that I learned many things from the journey, there are definitely some points that could have made it easier along the way and fewer heartbreaks for both of us.

So if you want to be in a long-distance relationship or still in the stage of considering it whether it’s worth it or not, ask yourself these 5 questions:

1. Are You Ready to Commit?

I wasn’t the type of person who can commit to a long-term thing, let alone in a serious relationship. However, holding on to someone and investing time in them without being clear with your intention is difficult.

Both sides have to be 100% on the same page. Are you both ready for an exclusive serious relationship with a clear plan in mind? or do you both do this long-distance relationship for killing the time only?

Knowing what you want and commit to it will make a huge difference because trust me, there are people out there who like doing long-distance relationships just because they think they couldn’t find someone they like (and like them back) in real life — or again, doing it because they have lots of free time to communicate virtually but refuses to commit into the ‘real’ relationship.

Whatever it is, make sure you and your partner are on the same page so you can avoid any heartbreaks in the future if things don’t work out because you already know what can you expect from the relationship.

2. Can You Trust Your Partner?

If you have trust issues, doing long-distance relationships will feel 10x harder. It’s just how it is.

I struggled a lot with this. Coming from a broken home family made it really hard for me. I spent lots and lots of time being so caught up in my head and got my energy drained.

But really, what I should have done is to be more open and let my partner knows how I really feel.

I believe there are days when the doubt kicks in and you just need reassurance. But people with trust issues tend to handle this differently and drive themselves crazy.

In this case, when you are in a long-distance relationship you have no other option than to trust your partner fully because if you don’t, it’s just going to create so many unnecessary dramas.

You certainly don’t want to spend a day in day out thinking about your long-distance relationship and neglect your reality.

3. Do You Both Have Short/Long-term Goals Together?

What’s worse than investing so much time to keep your long-distance relationship going only to find out that you can’t see a future with your partner?

It doesn’t have to be something that makes you take big decisions like marriages and moving out from your country, but even a small plan such as; when are you both gonna visit each other? what month? and how many times in a year that you both can approximately see each other in person?

Having something to looking forward to is the most exciting thing for long-distance couples. It gives us hope and faith that things will work out.

4. Do You Still Make Time to Socialize with other people?

I myself feel guilty of this because I used to spend time too much over the phone or just so caught up in my own head with my relationship that I didn’t want to hang out with my friends as much.

It took me some time but now I learned that spending time outside with friends is really important, it’s also part of you take care of your mental health. However, it’s needed to note that you do need positive and supportive friends around you.

Being in a long-distance relationship itself is already hard so you don’t want to go outside and spend some time with people who don’t support your life decision or drain your energy instead.

5. Do You Take Care of Yourself?

Have you got ambitions outside of your relationship? Are you currently working on it? or maybe all of your life plans based on your long-distance relationship?

If your answer to my last question is ‘yes’ then you need to rethink your decision. I can’t stress enough how important it is to focus and work on your own goals that have nothing to do with your relationship.

Especially when you are in a long-distance, you will have more time because communicating virtually is all you could do.

While it’s so tempting to spend time over the phone 24/7 with your partner, it’s best to work on your own projects and hobbies.

Not only this will make you stop analyzing and thinking about your relationship, but also there will be more room and you’ll surely have more things to share at the end of the day.

The Takeaways

I’ve seen a lot of people have given up in their relationships because they feel like the distance got too much. It does — I’m not even gonna lie.

It’s the hardest but most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

Of course, there are times where I was in doubt but then I reminded myself that great things take time. If this was easy, everyone would probably do it.

If you’ve gone through the points above and you are 100% sure you want to go all-in, I wish you good luck. Because life is too short to only live in fear.

This story has appeared originally appeared on Medium.