Breaking Free from the Booby Trap

Is anyone still wearing an actual bra these days?

If you are… Do you like it?

Busting Open the Knocker Locker

I recently moved into a new apartment and was sorting through clothes to donate to make room in my new closet. This was no small task, but one I’ve made a habit of doing anytime I’ve moved in the past few years.

Unfortunately, thanks to some chaotic life circumstances, that’s been a whopping eight moves since 2019.

Uprooting so many times, often emergently, has resulted in a desire to own less and less.

Perhaps the rationale behind this urge is simply ease, as escaping my abusive partner of five years has forced me to pick up and reshuffle my life over and over again.

It could be that the trauma has made me a tad avoidant when it comes to holding onto things too tightly; afraid I’ll either become overly-attached or haunted by the associated memories.

Or maybe being displaced so often has required me to pack up each item; turning it over in my hands and considering whether I’ve used it since my last move, whether I’d have room or use for it wherever I landed.

Does holding onto this benefit me, or is it just more weight to carry?

It was while pondering this thought that I saw it, the long-forgotten drawer containing the articles that’ve all but become a relic of my closet’s history.

My “real” bra drawer.

Patriarchal Padding: Form or Function?

Any bra-wearers out there know what I’m saying. I’m talking about your actual, clasps in the back, non-sports-bra bras.

The bras we’ve been socially conditioned to endure if we want to be deemed professional, appropriate, and feminine.

The ones we’re expected to shell out extra money to buy (hello again, pink tax) so we can own them in a variety of sexy patterns.

Each design has its own unique discomfort:

• Straps that slice into shoulders or slide down constantly.
• Underwire scratching at the same spot for 8+ hours straight.
• Padding that renders the bra useless garbage if you accidentally store it the wrong way one single time because it gets an irreparable, lumpy crease in the cup, yet no one has ever bothered to invent a decent storage solution.

The more uncomfortable, delicate, and nonfunctional, the more apparently pleasing to the male gaze.

Abracada-Bra: A Brief History Lesson Side Quest

While they may have changed in style over the years, the controversy surrounding bras has remained much the same. Complaints about price, comfort, and functionality have followed the bra throughout its many iterations.

According to a fabulous article from NPR:

The first-ever bra most likely dates back to ancient Greece, when women wrapped a band of wool or linen across their breasts, pinning or tying them in the back. Corsets didn’t show up until around 1500 and quickly became mandatory for middle- and upper-class women in Western society. Just as quickly, physicians started blaming corsets for ailments ranging from fainting spells to muscle atrophy, while feminists attacked them for restricting women, both physically and symbolically.Concerns about corset from both a health and feminism standpoint resulted in the gradual shift toward what we consider the modern bra design.

After reading that article, I hopped over to the History of Bras Wikipedia page and now want to read an entire book on bra history. I highly recommend checking that page out for more info.

Breast Case Scenario

Since the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, millions of jobs have shifted toward allowing employees to work from home, my own included.

Not being forced to waste time driving to an office to perform work that can be done virtually has had many benefits, one of my personal favorites being the ability to work in comfortable clothes rather than restrictive office attire.

What a world.

As a result of this incredible change, I’ve worn an actual bra maybe 6 times in the past year, if that.

My style these days tends to be a mix of lounge and athletic, with some comfortable dresses thrown in. While I still own a few fancier cocktail outfits, formal attire has all but gone extinct in my life, and I don’t have any desire to go back.

Do I still love dressing up to go out with my partner or friends once in a while? Absolutely, I do.

Would I still put a “real” bra on for a few hours if I was feeling a certain outfit where I thought it looked better? Sure, I’m just more likely to choose outfits where it looks fine without one.

Full Support: My Cups (Metaphorically) Overfloweth

Allow me to acknowledge here that I have mid-sized boob privilege, something that makes it easier for my braless-ness to go unnoticed in many outfits. Shoutout to my larger-chested friends, the fashion world does not make your life easy or affordable.

Do I completely support anyone who still wants or needs to wear a bra for whatever reason? You know it! Go off, darling, do what you’ve got to do.

One thing I would recommend asking yourself, however, is whether you’re wearing it for your own comfort, or to fulfill outdated societal expectations.

I understand the amount of confidence it takes to so openly defy the expectations of being a woman in our patriarchal society. It’s a problem I still struggle with myself on the daily.

But to my ladies out there who’ve dared to free those beautiful, controversial secondary sex characteristics: thank you for helping me feel inspired and safe enough to start doing the same. You’re changing the standard of what women will tolerate and paving the way for generations unrestricted by the male gaze.

Breast Wishes, Warmest Regards

In the end, I donated all but maybe two of my real bras. The couple I did keep, I saved in case of…

What, exactly? Emergencies? Nostalgia? I hope it’s the latter. Maybe with my next move it’ll be their turn for the donate pile.

Here’s to filling that now-empty drawer with things that are actually useful.

And next time you unhook that uncomfortable beast and throw it across the room at the end of a long day, I encourage you to ask yourself:

Does keeping this benefit me, or is it just more weight to carry?

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