Bravery and Freedom

My husband and I recently finished our 2 weeks of vacation. It always amazes me that we spend months filled with anticipation waiting for vacation to arrive only to have it speed by in what seems to be a flash. We spent the first week on a cruise which is one of our favorite ways to vacation. We got hooked after we did 2 weeks for our honeymoon on board the actual Love Boat. Many of you may not remember that cheesy sitcom from 1976 to mid 80s but yes… that actual ship. There were only about 365 passengers on board and half as many crew so we got to know each other very well by the end of our two weeks. It was glorious. This one was good too. We were on a brand new ship, but nothing will compare to our 2 week adventure on The Love Boat.

During the boarding phase of this cruise, we decided that we would take a self guided tour. It was our first time on this new vessel so we needed to check things out. We like to use the gym when we’re on vacation so we headed to the top deck to find it. We were delighted to see they had not just one but two Peleton bikes. I was thrilled. While we were scoping things out, we saw a beautiful older woman, Discman in hand, dancing to whatever she was listening to on the CD player. She danced like no one was watching. She was deep into her joy. She had to easily be late 80s maybe even early 90s. She made my heart smile. During the cruise we would often see her dancing alone on the dance floor, making requests for her favorite songs and dancing the night away. Michael Jackson was on the top of her favorites list. I enjoyed watching her enthusiasm when the band would play them for her. How brave she is, I thought to myself. Could I be that brave to dance alone and not care… without wine?

Our second week of our vacation was spent at our home in Pittsburgh. That’s where my side of our family mostly lives. We love our home there. We have so many fond memories. We often entertain guests and host get togethers and gatherings. Some are planned, some impromptu. We also have a nice home gym that I adore in our tricked out basement. It’s a fact that I love my Peleton workouts. I have written about it previously and fondly. (I am still waiting for them to come to France.) During this last visit, I did a low impact ride because of a dental surgery a few days before. I didn’t want to overdue it. I did a ride with Robin Arzon, whom is one of my favorites. She was speaking about bravery which inspired me. She mentioned that Janet Jackson and Madonna are both touring again. These ladies are my age, so I’m excited for them. Being an older lady and watching what the women my age are doing is exhilarating. Ageism is a problem in our world. Being 50, 60, 70 and beyond should not define us or limit us as women to having exciting and fulfilling lives. I’ve also written about making a big pivot later in life and starting an entirely different career after 60. I was 47 when I moved to Paris after all. Many of my friends and colleagues are in awe of that decision. I am often asked weren’t you afraid? Fear is always a factor. Either when we’re making life changing decisions or doing anything that causes a paradigm shift. It should not, however, be debilitating. It shouldn’t stop you from living your best life, chasing your dreams, creating new experiences or finding out wonderous things about yourself and this world we only occupy temporarily. Put on those big girl pants and be brave!

But are you free?

Perhaps that is one of the most important questions that you need to answer in you life.

Years ago when I was a flight attendant with TWA a young man that I had struck up a conversation with on the airplane, stated… wow! you are such a free spirit! I had never thought of myself as that before but it struck a cord and got me thinking. I don’t believe that he was wrong. I just had never thought of myself in that way before his saying so. I am a free spirit, if that means that I am willing to take chances in life. I am much more free now than I was then. In my mind being free is about not allowing other peoples opinions and the learned dogmas occupy space in my mind. Being free is not allowing someone else to create your life for you. It’s a lot more difficult than one would think. I listen to what others have to say, yes, but at the end of any given day, I make decisions based on my own best interest. As long as I am not hurting anyone else it has to be something that is best for me. As an empath, I have had to learn that. My father would tell me “learn to become selfish”; you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. You cannot pour from an empty vessel, he would say. I see more and more about self-care as if it’s a new discovery. My mother called them “me” days. It is not a new concept, just often forgotten or shamed out of us. We have to take time for ourselves. Do not ever feel guilty about that. Being a flight attendant and spending nights in a hotel, sometimes ordering room service, was my treat. Having someone take care of me for a few hours made me a better mommy… a better human, I think. I had to learn to not feel guilty about not being available to everyone all of the time. Unlearn that behavior!!! Needing personal space does not make you a bad person. That is what being free is to me.

I encourage everyone in my circle to make life changing decisions. I was asked once by my friend Jennifer “what is my super power”? I believe it’s being a cheerleader. I am there to cheer and hopefully to lead the people that I love and even some that I don’t know. I admire anyone that steps out in faith and makes improvements to their lives. That process isn’t easy no matter what age. Right now it seems like everyone around me is making positive life changes. I am there for all of it. I will be the loudest cheerleader. I have nothing but happy vibes and energy for my people. I have time to listen. I have words of encouragement. I have advice… if solicited, and I always have stories. So many stories. I have a shoulder if it gets to be too much or too overwhelming. I know it takes nerves, bravery if you will. I know it takes desire and willpower. I know it can be frightening as well. Just remember that it is worth it. The rewards outweigh the sacrifice. Use the fear as fuel.

I believe that freedom and bravery go hand in hand. It takes a lot of bravery to pursue freedom and a lot of freedom to be brave.

Be brave. Be free. It will be worth it no matter what happens. I promise.