Blossoms Brighten The Darkness

Some days can be dark. Even if the sun is shining, the sky is blue and the breeze kisses her skin with love. Some days are still dark. The darkness comes from experiences encountered some fifteen years ago. People talk of triggers. Current circumstances that draw on old memories. Lilah doesn't get triggered as such. A memory for everything, in complete detail, as what she was trained to do. Trained to notice each major, minor, influential and exterior piece of detail. Lilah doesn't believe she suffers PTSD. More so a tendancy to have rage towards the incompetence of the 'system' than depression. Yet 'rage' is of no use in her existing life. Rage is ineffective and causes regrettable impulsive actions.

The orchard is a place of sheer beauty at the beginning of spring. Possibly Lilah's favourite place to be, amongst the flush pink blossoms of the peach and apricot trees. Random flushes of delicate white blossoms grace the pear tree, laced in perfect patterns along each limb. The creamy white shade of the one and only cherry tree provides a spectacular centrepiece for the whole orchard, full and overladen with clusters of white blooms.

Now almost half way into her forties Lilah finds herself more protective of the young souls out there. When one finds the shell of a departed young soul they often want to know how the circumstance came to be? On more than one occasion as a young police woman Lilah had to wait for the coroner. Waiting for them to collect the small frame who's soul left the gift of living way too soon. The appearance of a lifeless body wasn't so confronting. Don't get me wrong, Lilah could paint you a picture of each and every body she had found in the course of her duty. How they were lying, the expression on their death face, what clothes they were wearing, what the temperature was, the exact time of day and every detail of the environment. Each one burnt into her memory.

One was a 12 year old boy who had been living on the street for no longer than a week. His parents divorced, custody battles of the most bitter nature where each pulled at invisible strings attached to their son. The boys mother being particularly evil in having lied the most horrendous of things about her ex-husband, using the boy as a vessel to punish him. The 'system' had got involved and been of no help. Only making the situation worse by facilitating the mother with her lies. The boy knowing the truth, had run away. Making friends with the other street kids he'd wanted to desperately drown out the mental pain. The flashing memories of his parents screaming abuse at each other. His mothers threats to harm him if he did not repeat her lies for her.

Lilah had found this boy. Lying in front of a parked car at a Woolies Supermarket. Silver paint surrounded his mouth like a poorly applied clowns makeup. His death face was that of shock and like he was gasping for air. It was a fearful death he had endured. Paint can and plastic bag still grasped in his hand. Lilah took snapshots in her mind and simultaneously wondered who had let him down.

The confronting part was the waste. The waste of life and how such circumstance could have been avoided. Who failed these kids to have them leave before their time? Sometimes she'd wonder how they would have turned out if given the right help? Would their cards have been different if someone strong enough stepped in and stood up to our pathetically incompetant system? If the system wasn't incompetent then these kids would be adults now. Some may have made a difference. Some may have really soared! The memories and the thoughts peak Lilah's rage against the system. Her heart races, adrenaline rises and her entire self starts to tremble. Her heart breaks with each memory, reliving each moment as she struggles to grapple the reasons as to how those so young can be let down.

The blossoms call. When the rage becomes loud and needs to be dampened. Lilah walks the rows of her orchard. With her favourite chook, Raphaella following loyally at her heels restoring her soul.

It's ridiculous really. How a pretty blossom can flood out the dark. When the delicate intricacies of how each blossom forms somehow encourages a smile and sense of calm in Lilah's soul. The power of natures beauty filling Lilah with positivity and releasing the darkness in her heart for a different day.