Birthday Presents

Let me preface this by saying: I don't like celebrating my birthday. My birthday followed a traumatic event for me a few years ago and I just have not enjoyed celebrating it since then. I suffer from depression and several other mental ailments according to a therapist, and my birthday triggers all of it.

So, when I see people walking towards me with balloons and singing I tend to try and run away. I was ambushed this year by several people trying to celebrate my birthday and I was unable to outrun. Doesn't matter how many times I tell them to not do anything for my birthday, they still do something that annoys the ever loving shit outta me.

And I'm not ungrateful for it, but it means more to me that they actually listen to my wishes than when they do whatever is deemed socially acceptable. I'd rather someone send me a thoughtful card than a present that they spotted at random and thought "I bet she'd like this because its red and that her favorite color." Thats the end of the thought process, nevermind the fact that its a blender, an actual present I got when I was 11; the thing is then wrapped and showcased to me in an embarrassing way.

SO, what happened this last birthday to me?

I was corned like a rabid animal and sung to by a group of people who I don't know that well but they figured out it was my birthday and found me. And what did they get me, you ask?

Half a roll of salami, quarter of a cheese wedge, fruit of the month club, gift card to Bass Pro Shop (I didn't even know they had those), a bag of those brown crackers that usually go in a mix, and a litre of coca-cola.

I don't know why that's worse, but it is.

I am not poor. I am not starving. I am trying to lose weight. I don't like my birthday, they continue to celebrate it and give me things. But that Home Depot box of food just really hurt me. I acted excited about it but what in the frosty pits of hell gave them the idea that this was something to give me for a birthday?

I don't really like salami, I have never heard of the cheese they gave me, I hate monthly food packages that should not be a thing, and I've never been to a Bass Pro Shop. I read the card as Bass as in guitar at first and was confused as to why a fish was on it and then I realized my grammar mistake.

There isn't a food shortage where I live, I grow vegetables in my backyard. I have chickens for illegal frackings sake. All the box was missing was a med kit and a box of ammo and it could've been a post-apocalyptic starter kit. I'm actually surprised there wasn't one of those two things considering I have some minor medical experience and I actually enjoy going to a shooting range every once in awhile.

It seemed like they just cleaned out their fridge and handed me what they didn't like. When a kid is going through a box of chocolates and takes a bite out of each one anyway to see if they like it and put a half gnawed on candy back if they don't like it.

These are people I grew up with, who showed me things that are hobbies for me today and rather than just get me a card, I get a box of quartered food like their rationing it out.

I'm grateful they thought of me, I'm grateful they took the time out of their days to try and make me happy. I appreciate the effort they went through to do this for me.

But I'd rather they didn't do anything at all.

It's my birthday and if I say don't do something, shouldn't that be honored?

If you want a big birthday dinner, that's your choice. You want a huge party that lasts through the night? Go for it. You want to through a rager in Vegas and accidentally leave your friend on a roof while trying to steal a tiger while marrying a part-time stripper? You do you, boo.

For me, I want to be left alone. So why is that the outlier here?