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Reason #15 Why I'm Going to Hell

He literally asked for it.

By Mae McCreeryPublished 3 years ago 7 min read
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Reason #15 Why I'm Going to Hell
Photo by BÜNYAMİN GÖRÜNMEZ on Unsplash

Story time, y’all gather round.

So, I’m an asshole. I accepted that when I was about 12, the day I accidentally broke a vase at my uncle’s house. He asked me why I did that and I replied:

“Because some unorganized dipstick put it there.”

When I was 15, I got an ear infection. Instead of staying home, my mother took me to work with her. Why? I don’t know. I wasn’t dating anyone and my best friend was out of town for a track meet. The other friends I did have were super nerdy and similar to the Ivy League kids from 10 Things I Hate About You.

So, I was sitting at an empty desk and I was doing homework. I had taken a couple days off from school so I had a ton of work to do.

One of her coworkers came up to me with two boys, maybe 7 or 8 YO, and asked who I was. I didn’t recognize this guy but I told him I was there because my mom worked there. He knew my mom and asked if I could take his son and the friend to an ice cream shop down the street.

A few things with this situation:

I couldn’t really hear anything, my ears ached so much and I knew sign language so me and my mom were communicating by that instead of talking.

I was not familiar with the area, we were in a different city that I hadn’t been to before and I wasn’t about to take charge of two boys when practically deaf and walk them in an area that I didn’t know.

I didn’t have a cell phone then, mine had been busted and I was due for an upgrade in about a week so I just decided to wait a few days for a new one. So, if something were to happen, I had no way to call for help.

Those kids were in front of me for two minutes and they were already trying to hide from this guy as a joke.

So, obviously for the above reasons I said no. I explained to him that I couldn’t hear very well and wasn’t comfortable babysitting at the moment.

This m*****f***** got so pissed at me.

“Seriously???” He asked and put his hands on his hips.

“I’m sorry, if it was any other time I’d do it, but I have a lot of work and (insert above reasons that I had already explained but did so again)” I went back to reading about Algebra and this guy grabbed the book from me.

“I’ll pay you.” He narrowed his eyes and held my book away from me.

“No.” I repeated. “They can hang out with me here if you want, but (reiterate reasons above)”

“I’ll give you $100 to get ice cream with them and you can keep the change.” He got red at this point.

“It’s not about the money.”

“Then what IS IT ABOUT???”

“I can’t hear properly.” Continued to re-list above reasons.

“You can hear me just fine.”

“You’re yelling at me from point blank range.” I glared at him and stood up and stepped toward him. “By the way, you might want to do something about the amount of spit you project when you talk.” I wretched my book out of his hand and went back to my work.

This dude stomps away with two boys in tow and I thought that was the end of it.

OH, if only.

My mother came up to me and started signing to me.

“Did you tell John you wouldn’t watch his kids?” She looked shocked.

“Yes.” I signed.

“Why?” She signed back, actually looking angry.

“Okay.” I said. “I’ll tell you why.”

I, once again, listed the reasons why I wasn’t going to babysit two boys. I proceeded to tell her how he tried to bribe me and stole my textbook to try and order me to watch them.

“If he’s causing you problems, I’ll do it.” I told her.

She started laughing and just shook her head.

“It’s fine, honey.” She handed me keys to our car and said if I wanted to sit in the car and do my work, that we’d be leaving in a half hour anyway.

So, I went to the car and lived my life. I hadn’t really thought about that incident again until I turned 21 and went to a company Christmas Party with my mom.

First off, I looked good. There was this guy I had a crush on and I knew he was going to be at the party so I pulled out all the stops. I wore 3” black (fake) leather heels. I had on a tight black satin dress that showed off my curves just right. I did my makeup and it actually ended up the way I saw in the YouTube tutorial. I curled my hair and had on the perfect accessories. Yes, I was trying way too hard, but I had just turned 21 and this guy was so cute. Like Tom Hiddleston but American and a tiny bit shorter.

The party was at a hotel on the beach, so we had pretty much the whole bar to ourselves and there were maybe 70 people there.

So, I’m at the bar, getting a drink and someone taps my shoulder. I turn around and it's the guy. He compliments my look and we chat for a few minutes. We flirt and smile and I think that I was actually getting somewhere with this guy.

Suddenly, someone from behind me grabs my shoulder and yanks me around.

I almost bitch slapped him when I recognized him as the guy that asked me to take his kid to get ice cream.

“YOU!” He shouted over the music. Staggering a bit with a beer in one hand and the other still on my shoulder.

“John.” I replied and took a sip of my wine.

“You were a kid once.” He slurred.

“I suppose.” I arched my eyebrow and looked him up and down. “What’s your point?”

“When does the ‘Asshole Phase’ end?” I remember my mom had said that his son had been giving him issues, but this guy was a hardcore conservative. This was pre-Trump so it was just the high-level at the time douchebag, not the high-level it is now. He was constantly giving the girls that worked with him a hard time and I had heard that he had been flirting with a friend of mine while he was married. I had done some work with this company, but I wasn’t an actual employee. So, I had a unique advantage to say whatever I wanted and could get away with it.

So, I looked him in his eyes and smirked.

“It never ends.”

I then winked, smiled, grabbed my wine glass and strutted away from the bar and out the door to the patio like a runway model.

To be quite honest, I am really surprised I didn’t stumble in those spiked heels with two glasses of wine in my system. But the grace of RBG was with me that night, I did not stumble with my fantastic exit.

But once again, that was not the end.

A couple hours later, I was back on the patio to get some air and John came back out. I rolled my eyes and started to go back inside.

“Why are you such a dick?” He slurred, even worse than before.

“Because I’m just trying to keep up with the level of idiocy that is constantly presented before me. So, if I seem like a dick, it’s only because there is an inconsiderate, drunk asshole with an obvious power complex in front of me wasting my time.” I didn’t back down or move. I just stared at him and waited for him to make the next move.

It took a minute, but he stepped back and went back inside.

Calling someone out, without stuttering or tripping, is honestly better than sex to me. That’s the high I want to live off of forever.

Also, I don’t seek out fights. My Ex would go out and hunt down Conservative Republicans and spar them like pokemon. It was so embarrassing. If something is going down in front of me, yes I’ll step in; but there’s a difference between that and going out to pick a fight.

However, in this instance, with someone who sought me out to give me a hard time about the one time I wouldn’t watch his son; he was inadvertently asking to be brought down psychologically. So, naturally as someone with a people-pleaser complex, I had to oblige.

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About the Creator

Mae McCreery

I’m a 29 year old female that is going through a quarter life crisis. When my dream of Journalism was killed, I thought I was over writing forever. Turns out, I still have a lot to say.

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