Being Forty

I can remember the elders saying to us teenagers graduating from high school, “Enjoy your life as much as you can and whatever you do, DON’T RUSH!.” Them bold, but true statements hit us hard as we got older. I would wonder why our parents would take their time and give us a fast no as well as modernly a slow yes at times. It’s funny how fragile life is when you don’t take time and see it thoroughly. Our parents surely did...that’s why they warned us way before we can make it out of high school going into college. We knew we want to set out on our own, but our parents knew more of life than what we hungered for.

High school had it‘s own way of reminding us to think before we fly...to know were we are going as well as have a plan set...” Yes, a plan...but of course, things don’t always go in order the way you mapped it when you was youn, “ Therefor, it will always be an imbalancement somewhere in your journey into adulthood.

As teenagers we live, we get into some fun and find our wildness and capability to surround ourselves with our own joy when we hit a bad note and live another day as the norm. Punishments would be a random, but the thought of love or falling in love would be something new, but scary because we ain’t ready for the next chapter of that, or just the thought of getting your heart broken would be enough to make you rethink about love at all. That’s why they say don’t rush.

As I reached my early twenties I began getting a note book and pen and would write down my plans for myself as well as the desires of fulfilling every accomplishments and hopefully get married and start a family in that order, but of course, as I reached my thirties, things went spiralling off and further down within my thirties.

Of course, during college or the end of college, I dealt with a lot of up and down traumatic episodes of dating, then finding out I was pregnant, into losing the unborn baby and rent, car note, insurance as well as trying to save, which of course will be unexpected bill collectors. That’s why they tell us not to rush.

Ending my thirties going into my forties felt different, more laid back, but catching myself up from all my thirties left behind really felt like an epic failure in my life. Marriage hadn’t happened, the career I went to school for didn’t open, nor the desires of another child didn’t cross through with a settled man I planned to be with for the rest of my life. The ideas of trying to be able to go through life with no problem really hit hardest at age forty. At forty, from what I felt, is consistently being alone, my pounds sometimes pop up as well as a few greys and the energy I had when I was young slowly ceasing with aches and pains and of course memory would be a problem, because it would slow my performance down, in this occasion multivitamins, the gym and a good rest would be most therapeutic for the moment.

My experience of being forty crept up on me so suddenly, and so quickly that I felt to that point....if it happen and meant to be let it be, long i have peace and joy in my forty years of life I have.

Being in love seem to be a challenge now at age forty. the looks, the silhouette seems to slowly vanish and the attention you use to had seem to profound differently in some people. Getting hit on by certain people makes you wonder, Wow!! Is this what forty‘s about, I should’ve just thought things out differently and make moves proficiently in my twenties...so I figured oh wow it’s really over. Having sex seems to be a fighting chance to receive, because the dating pool had became a pure joke to us older crowd. Scammers are coming on the dating sites grabbing what sympathy and depression we going through making a profit out of it. Yes,“ this is the life of forty.

One thing I notice by being forty is that some of us can handle being alone very differently and courageously and by that we start to defy our own purpose and desires of what we want in life being forty. Forty can be whatever you want to be and still live another day to tell about it than those that who haven’t had that opportunity to make it to reach that prime😔.

Being forty can be a curse or a blessing, but always remember, “ the way you grow up and put out is the way you can receive life at any age, long you don’t rush anything, no matter what.”

The End