Before Karen, there was "Nanni"

We tend to assume that ancient tablets are reserved for very important details like the birth stories of heroes, royal lineages, key battles, commandments from God... At the very least, things noteworthy enough to chisel into stone.

But one particular tablet, making its rounds on social media, dates back to the 18th century BC Mesopotamia, and has been identified as the first known written customer complaint. The recipient? A shady copper dealer by the name of Ea-Nasir. The customer: a nobleman called Nanni, who would almost certainly have dictated this longwinded complaint to a scribe. Yet the deep-set markings have led some to speculate that the writer must have been extremely pissed off.

The tablet, translated from its original Akkadian cuneiform, begins:

“Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message: When you came, you said to me as follows: ‘I will give Gimil-Sin (when he comes) fine quality copper ingots.’ You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my messenger (Sit-Sin) and said: ‘If you want to take them, take them; if you do not want to take them, go away!’

It seems the delivery man, Sit-Sin was wise to Ea-Nasir attempting a switcheroo on the ingots, as he put up a fight before being sent away. We can't verify the copper's quality now, of course; but does this message being complete with quotes and parentheses somehow make it all the funnier?

It continues:

What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to collect the bag with my money (deposited with you) but you have treated me with contempt by sending them back to me empty-handed several times, and that through enemy territory.

Basically, Nanni pulls the old "Don't you know who I am?" and sends his rich friends galloping through a literal war zone to collect a refund. When Ea-Nasir refuses, Nanni sends another hapless messenger with this stone slab bitching him out. At the risk of not being impartial, this is one determined male Karen.

Then Nanni gets personal:

Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun who has treated me in this way? You alone treat my messenger with contempt! On account of that one (trifling) mina of silver which I owe you, you feel free to speak in such a way, while I have given to the palace on your behalf 1,080 pounds of copper, and umi-abum has likewise given 1,080 pounds of copper, apart from what we both have had written on a sealed tablet to be kept in the temple of Samas.

Historians don't seem to have much to contextualize this bit. They know that Telmun was a trading center--a specialty marketplace of sorts where Nanni claims to have received excellent customer service from everybody but Ea-Nasir. Apparently, he also purchased on credit and attributes Ea-Nasir's rudeness to the overdue payment. Given that Nanni did him a major solid by donating that copper in his name, I guess no one couldn't blame him for being upset.

This final jab may sound familiar to anyone who's ever worked in customer service:

How have you treated me for that copper? You have withheld my money bag from me in enemy territory; it is now up to you to restore (my money) to me in full. Take cognizance that (from now on) I will not accept here any copper from you that is not of fine quality. I shall (from now on) select and take the ingots individually in my own yard, and I shall exercise against you my right of rejection because you have treated me with contempt.”

Archaic syntax aside, I think managers all over the world just gave a collective shudder. Basically, "You won't be getting any more of my business. I will be sourcing my copper ingots locally from now on because you treat paying customers like sh*t and I WANT MY MONEY BACK!"

As an added fun fact, this tablet was discovered in the home of Ea-Nasir, among other less formal written complaints. Clearly Nanni was not the only customer to have reported a problem with this seller. Perhaps the tale of Ea-Nasir is more of a bad manager story (and one who collects hate mail, at that). In any case, this ancient 1-star review has spawned Reddit threads and multiple Facebook groups dedicated entirely to Ea-Nasir and Nanni memes. The sheer specificity makes for some comedy gold, and its continued relevance perhaps goes to show that not a lot has changed in the last 3,800 years.