Before i go bang!

Drive the point home, they walk dogs on paved streets your mother slipped off a temporary bridge into her aquatic sunset.

Every time you hear buffet you remember your father losing his first job as a cook because he brought home the food his bourgeoisie masters thought wasn't befitting even to their gluttonous appetites.

Last time you were in hospital with a severed finger because you had to work overtime and fell asleep on the assembly line just so that you could finish off your student loans, you were distracted from the pain by the memory of your infant sister dying months after her vaccination and your mother going into a spiral of depression, aquatic demise would have sufficed, better the peaceful dead than the troubled living.

It's been 15 years since you plunged head first into someone, you can't blame her for following God's call, yes, you can't have anything at all, even the love of your life was seduced by god, she's now at a convent somewhere in the Philippines, you wish you'd have told her how much she meant to you before god dialed her number. Perhaps even mentioned that this deceitful world has made you so distrusting that you even question your own happiness. I hope God is a better lover, surely, he has to be good at something, anything, other than ordering the death of millions and letting things get of hand.

It's Saturday and I'm 21 again, I get a call, Jack, a cold one, the local. I pick up my jacket and head out. Jack has a few too many, on his 6th shot he breaks down, he has cancer, I don't know how to feel, I’m not the one dying but I'm dying he's barely made it past the gates of his mother's house, he was going to record an album with all genres of music, be a famous artist then one day disappear, he had the wildest ideas now cast asunder from their forthcoming reality by this shadowy disease. 3 years later I think they ought to pull the plug on the poor fella, after dozens and dozens of rounds of chemo he's only sicker, his mother finally accepts a suggestion to have him treated using natural and holistic means, he died that evening, sheets soiled, eyes crossed and tongue shredded, a convulsion, not even the cancer, he died of a convulsion!

I'm standing here, with about 10 kgs of C4 sown into my clothes in strips, I've been working for Kwick Klean for the last 10 years, I watched my eldest brother die on a peace keeping mission to a country where war was instigated by the powers that be for whatever selfish reasons, I watched the man I called father drink himself into a grave, I have buried everyone but myself, I shall today. We have been contracted to clean the parliament premises, I have been here enough times to know the structural weak points and the surveillance lapses, everything is set, I'm going out in a grand way, taking down the head of the beast with me, but this isn't some poetic political move, I'm simply suicidal.

Jane gets a call, a mild-mannered co-worker that I have for a long time feared to be a half-wit because even my worst jokes get a laugh from her, her child is sick she says as she drops her mop, "Can you cover for me?"

God you dear old bastard, a child had to get sick just so that you can stand in the way of my overdue exit? I guess the fireworks will have to wait for another day, a mother needs to see her child and keep her job, I'd hate to have another me around in a couple of years.