An Unapology for Being White

"Raise your fist. Join us in solidarity."

Unless I believe in your cause, and in the way you are going about handling it, I will not.

The demand for virtue defeats its purpose. The condemnation of a person because of the color of their skin is racist. The hatred of another group is xenophobic. The lynching of a person's character because of what they did not do is evil. The disinterest in someone's suffering because they do not belong to your tribe is not empathy. The cry to destroy someone's life because they disagree with you is tyrannical.

I am white. I am male. I am straight. I will not apologize for any of these traits. I did not choose whom I would be knit as in my mother's womb. I did not choose to be attracted to the female body. I did not choose to be born as 98.5% of the population are: aligned with their observable sex organs. Because I did not choose these things, I cannot take any pride in them as though the traits in-it-of-themselves are of merit. For this same reason, I cannot take any blame or evil for them either.

Am I swatting a hornet's nest by posting this essay? Most likely. Is it wise to strike a hornet's nest? It depends. Personally, I am getting a bit tired of being stung with accusations of evil because of these characteristics. Granted, most of these slights are not personally aimed at me. It is an amalgamation of television, education, advertisement, and colloquially sensitive conversation that reaches the point of odium ad nauseum. When She-Hulk can say, she handles her anger better than Bruce Banner —a man whose potential father-in-law tried to have him murdered, and his second lover was killed because of a purple-faced alien from Titan—because she deals with being mansplained to and cat-called every day, we have a problem. We have a problem when nearly every commercial has unconscious white men being educated by their competent and conscious wives. When a Drexel University professor can tweet, "All I want for Christmas is white genocide," and still keep a job, but a Google employee can be terminated for simply questioning unconscious bias training, I think it has reached the point of saying, "No more. Not on my watch. Not from me."

I will not apologize or bend my knee to anyone who demands it, whether it be God or man. I was fortunate to be born in a society with a precedent that denies that type of force: the rights I have as an individual. That precedent must, of course, be followed through for all of the citizens of this country, and, of course, it has failed to do so. But the solution to this problem is a greater degree of diligence, not pointing the sword at the former executioner (it is worse than this, as it is simply pointing the blade at the person who looks like the former executioner).

I, as an individual, have the right to stand for the things that call to my conscience. I, as an individual, have the right to fail to do so. And I, as an individual, have the right not to join the party you tell me to join (conversely, you, too, have all of these rights).

What should one apologize for? Their own sins. If I fail on a given dimension, I must own up to the consequences. It is not my duty to take lashes for the sins of another man. I could not do this, even if I wanted to—which I do not. It is that man's responsibility to seek penance for his sins. I will not rob him of the right and privilege of becoming something more than he was before. And I will not allow myself to become a scapegoat for some maddened crowd that needs a witch to burn for their misfortunes.

Am I sorry that I am white? I am not. Am I sorry that I am straight? I am not. Am I sorry that I am a man? I am not. And unless you enjoy the feeling of utter disappointment, do not ask me to be.

—GCF, October 12, 2022